A
female
age
41-50,
*ott1982
writes:Hi this time last year I had learnt that my boyfriend now my fiance had been making calls to sex lines. I was drinking a lot and he had just lost his Nan and we had a lot of money toubles. At the time I was cut up however after a lot of thought and consideration I forgave him he promised to never to do it again and for sure he has not. I think that a lot of things were involved to make him do it and he could not appologise enough. however we had been going out for 3 years when this had happened. Now we have just got through our 4th years and I just keep thinking about it what if he was doing it for longer than he said before and I just feel wierd when I think of it and don't know how to control my feelings of hurt and don't want to go and through everything away for something that is probably not that bad. please give me some advice?
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female
reader, Minelisse  +, writes (18 January 2008):
 I really think there could be something else bothering you, maybe you are not sure about getting married, so you are digging up a past that was more than a year ago.
Are you feeling cold feet? Best of lucks!
A
female
reader, Reebe +, writes (18 January 2008):
 Hi
You tried to block out your feelings with alcohol and your bf tried to do it with sex lines.
You were both going through a tough time and instead of pulling together you found other ways of dealing with what was going on.
Although I don't condone what he did I think that it can be forgiven? he may of felt really down as his nan had passed away and if you were drinking alot he may of felt a bit alone.
You are now engaged and if your 100% sure he has never done it again then I think you need to try and put this behind you, he stuck to his word about not doing it again, everyone makes their mistakes and on the scale of things in my opinion this wasn't the worst thing he could of done.
Take care
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (18 January 2008):
 There are things which a man like to do and women may find it revolting.If those things are done in moderations and not excessive, you should tolerate his vices.It is like his way of having fun and de stress . Just as women have their own kind of activities or fun. You should not control too much of his life. You need to allow him to retreat back into his own world.
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