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Was he being passive in trying to see me again? Should I contact him or let him get in touch?

Tagged as: Dating, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 August 2020) 4 Answers - (Newest, 7 August 2020)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I went for a walk with a guy who was on my course (he invited me). We walked and talked for 2 and a half hours. We had a laugh and had some deep conversations. He asked who I went on holiday with and asked 'family, friends or boyfriend?'. Is he trying to find out if I am attached or am I reading too much into it?

He is quite a reserved man, also a Capricorn (I know some people don't believe in star signs). At the end of our walk he said he enjoyed my company and said if I want to go for a walk again to let him know as he would like to go. Now, it was not a date and there has been no date talk as we have been friends for nearly a year. Was he being passive in trying to see me again? Should I contact him or let him get in touch? I don't want to play games as he is a decent guy.

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A female reader, RenRansom68 United Kingdom +, writes (7 August 2020):

RenRansom68 agony auntIn my opinion, he seems like he was too shy and reserved to approach you before but seems like he wants a friendship with you, at the very least. Just take your time, suggest different routes to walk on. Enjoy the time with him and see how it goes, it may or may not be a future relationship but you may make a very good friend out of it :)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2020):

Going for a walk with someone is just that. You seem to be creating an enormous drama out of it, a time consuming a thought provoking thing from very little. Either you want to go for a walk with him or you do not. End of.

To me going for a walk would be a waste of time, a cheap date. I would suspect the guy is not into spending money or has no money to spend. That would put me off. I earn very good money and would not date a guy who is not on my level financially. Why did it take him so long to suggest going for a walk? Is he like you where he has to think and think for ages about every little thing? How do you know he is a decent guy? He might go out with you for a walk one day and the next he might shout at you, demand sex or hit you. You do not really know him at all.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (3 August 2020):

CindyCares agony aunt No, he was not passive, he was just...normal.

He is a quiet , reserved man, nevertheless he invited you first to go walking. He said that he enjoyed your company, and he said that if you want to go out again, you should let him know. As for him, he's game.

IMO that leaves the ball neatly and clearly in your court. If you enjoyed his company too, and if you want to go walking again- then it's your turn to contact him and say,

" why don't we go to X place on X day " or words to that effect.

I really don't see what the poor guy should have done more to convey his intention to go out again with you, if you agree.

A singing telegram would have been more proactive, I guess, but also out of character for a quiet Capricorn :)

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (3 August 2020):

Honeypie agony auntDo you WANT to spend more time with him?

He TOLD you to let him know... so if you WANT to spend more time, ask him/tell him.

If you are BOTH single and you want to spend more time with him why sit on your hands and wait?

I would guess his question was a roundabout way to ask if you have a partner or not.

My only "problem" with this whole scenario is that it has take a WHOLE year for him to ask that.. I mean that is SLOW POKE speed. If nothing has happened in that whole year HOW interested has he REALLY been? OR Is it that he is a little bored during lockdown?

IF you are interested I'd keep moving slowly here until you know more about him.

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