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female
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anonymous
writes: I really like this guy and we are kinda friends but i wan to ask him out but im really scared because lets just say im not the prettiest girl in the world and i think he'll say no and then we wont be friends any more. What should i do ???? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (19 August 2006):
 There are two things you need to do before you start asking boys out. Firstly, you need to work on that self esteem - you may think you are not pretty but by what standards? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all that...there are lots of guys out there who will think you are gorgeous. However, without the confidence to think you are an attractive person with something to offer you will end up beating yourself up over this dating game - everyone is rejected sometimes, but people with poorer self esteem take it much worse! Secondly, instead of asking your mate for a 'date', why not let the friendship progress naturally...if it is going to become romantic then it will just happen. My ex and I were friends for about a year before we both admitted to extra feelings. However, after a 3 year relationship I finished it but missed his 'friendship'...I really regret having a romantic relationship with him as I would still have his friendship now if it hadn't got complicated. Another male friend confessed feelings for me when I was single and over a matter of months it killed a good friendship dead because I didnt feel the same and he resented my boyfriends. Anyway, good luck and hang on in there with your friend as you never know what may happen in the long run! Think carefully before you blurt out any feelings for him however.
A
female
reader, chunkymunky +, writes (19 August 2006):
 i had a similar situation a while ago, i really fancied this lad that im friends with and he asked me out and i wasnt sure if he was joking so i text him saying, you no the other day when you asked me out, were you joking? and if not is it too l8 to say yes? and he tb saying, sorry i was joking. But I thought he fancied me because his friend said to me he did but anyway..
Things were really awkward between us for a week or so but soon enough things got back to normal and now we are better friends than ever, so if your friend says no, then he shouldnt not be friends with you because thats really dumb. Im sure your friend is a pretty decent person so they shouldnt not stay friends with you if he rejects you.
But he also could say yes and that would be great!
You might regret it if you dont, but think about the consequences and if you arent afraid of getting your ego damaged?
But remember...
Rejection is a blessing in disguise ;) good luck with what ever you decide
x x x
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