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female
,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend was a very spoilt boy so got everything he wanted in life. In turn i found him to be very selfish and even in bed was only interested in himself. No matter what was said his selfish streak domineered and he got his own way - a bit of a bully. Should you stay with someone selfish like that who doesn't respect your needs / wants? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2006): Wow talk about a loaded question!
Ok so here is some traits of your boyfriend:
1) spoilt
2) selfish
3) bad in bed
4) a bully
5) doesn't respect you
Now it doesn't like he is much of a boyfriend, but then again he must have some good qualities, or you wouldn't be with him, right?
If you decide to stay with him - perhaps you shouldn't be putting him down any more. You can't be in a relationship with someone you obvious think is such a bad person. If you do stay with him whilst thinking so badly of him, it shows you don't have any respect for him, or yourself, in which case you both deserve someone else.
I think it is also quite likely that if you seemingly see him so negatively that he probably sees you quite similarly.
Peter
A
male
reader, maxsteel86  +, writes (19 August 2006):
 Just leave him. It'll be a lot easier than getting him to change! Why'd you get with such a selfish guy in the first place? Either way, he's doing nothing for you so forget him and find someone nice
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (19 August 2006):
 Errrr...no, it sounds like you have already made your mind about him though. Surely relationships are supposed to be fun and enjoyable - if he isn't accommodating to your needs in the bedroom then he is a lousy lover and he doesn't sound like boyfriend of the year either. By giving in to his requirements all the time you are not helping him develop into a more balanced, mature person - how is going to deal with the frustration of not getting his way all the time? There will come a time in his life when things are not going his way (it happens to all of us) and then he is a candidate for cracking up as he won't have developed the proper methods of handling such circumstances.
I don't think the question should be 'Should you stay with someone selfish like that who doesn't respect your needs / wants?'...I think 'How do I dump him to show him I have bundles of self respect and won't stand for rubbish treatment?' is better.
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