A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been in a on and off again phone sex type relationship with an older man ever since i was 15, i'm now 17 and he is 40 years old and divorced with two kids, issue is, i am starting to fall really hard for him. i want more from it, but, i'm not sure how he feels, he gives me mixed signals. he does say that he likes me, but i don't know in what way. and he also seems to get jealous at times, or at least it seems that way, we have talked about meeting, mostly just to hang out and and to mess around. i'm also a virgin, and have thought about giving it to.i guess my question is: do u think i should tell him how i feel?should i ask him how he feels?
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divorce, jealous, older man, phone sex Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni hear what everyone is saying, and u make a great point, now that i think about it, i really shouldn't be in this situation. thanks to everyone for leaving your comments really help me. thank u to everyone. Here Are My Two Cents u really helped me the most so thank u
A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (25 September 2009):
 Why bother? He's clearly just using you. If he cared about anything more than what's between your legs you would likely know already.
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A
female
reader, HereAreMyTwoCents +, writes (25 September 2009):
 Although for me and for just about everyone else on this forum it is clear as daylight that this will never work and will only lead to unnatural and unnecessary pain for you, I know that you will say that we are just killjoys. But you have been warned. Let me elaborate. This "relationship" may be ok for phone sex. It might even be ok for real sex, once you turn 18 and it is legal. But it will never be ok for the long term, because you are in completely different places in your life. Your life has just barely begun, you have absolutely no clue about what is out there in the world as far as the struggles that one must overcome in the "real world", and trust me there IS a real world, it is not just a phrase older people use to scare younger people. And this man is exactly the kind of person who will show you how messed up the real world can be. Why? Because he knows this could never work, but you're good enough for the moment because he is getting phone sex, and hopefully in his mind, real sex later. And you are taking the bait. You have never even had sex, according to you. You are 23 years apart. He has already been through a divorce and has children. If I were to say to you, "There is just no way that this will work" I know that you would take that and say, "Ha! That's what you think! I know better." So all I can say to you is this. If it doesn't work, then "I told you so" and if it does, then I would say, "Wow!"
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2009): how on earth did this start?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2009): Oh honey... I understand that you have feelings for this man, but you are so young you don't understand how wrong this or the dangers. Where did this man come from? How did he get your phone number? Does he know how old you are?? If he does then you have to understand... what this man is doing is BAD. It's illegal in most countries. You should NOT speak to him on the phone anymore, and the only thing you should tell him is he's a dirty old pervert who has taken advantage of a young girl. You are so young... you should not be having phone sex with ANYONE, least of all an anonymous older man you've never even met!!! I am 39 and I have NEVER EVER done that. Why are you doing this? This is not good for your self esteem. You deserve better. You should be dating boys your own age that will care about you and share a friendship with you and spend time with you. What you don't understand and it's easy to mistake with TV and movies the way it is sex does not mean the same as love. This is why you need to be careful, because you are too special a young woman to get hurt by some strange man who is taking advantage of your innocence and trust.
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A
female
reader, HereAreMyTwoCents +, writes (25 September 2009):
This "relationship" that you are in needs to stop immediately. You have absolutely no idea how much trouble, pain and suffering you are headed for if you continue to pursue this.
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A
female
reader, lostlove1 +, writes (25 September 2009):
really?! thats gross! hes probably a creep. you should NOT be talking to him, let alone having phone sex with him. you need to be intrested in people your own age, imagine what life will be life in 20 years if you get together with him, and when your his age he will be dead. THINK FIRST! Seriously though, stop talking to him! that really is very nasty. im sorry if thats harsh but your way way way too young to be talking to a guy that old. i promise you that there are so many guys out there that are way hotter and have more energy and time to do things. Just take my advice.
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A
female
reader, caddy_girl10 +, writes (24 September 2009):
 Okay I'm sorry but that is DISGUSTING! You should not be doing that stuff with a 40 year old!!!! No you shouldn't tell him how you feel you should just tell him you don't want to do it again! Seriously he could be a stalker or a creeper and you having phone sex with him! That's nasty, I'm sorry
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