A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I want to wait till I'm married to have sex because I want to lose my virginity to someone I love. I told my boyfriend we could make out just no sex, and he said he understood and is perfectly fine with it. My friends said its not good to wait till your married to have sex because it could ruin the sex when you are married. I need to know if thats true or if I'm doing the right thing. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2010): u shuld wait until your married... thats wat my parents tell me they say that if i have sex before im married that i might get pregnat and my boyfriend will run off and leave me wif the baby... my mom says if he actually loves u that he will understand that u dont wanna have sex befor ur married....
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2010): It sounds like your friends don't understand guys at all. They just think they do. Teenage guys really want experienced girls because it means easy sex and they won't risk the girl getting too attached if they wanna break things off later. Most guys are not serious about settling down with any of those "fun" girls in the long run. You will find that when guys are feeling serious about a girl they would usually prefer not to be just one of a list of guys she's had sex with already. I've never met a guy that really minded getting to teach a girl about sex or both learning it together. Lots of guys would love that.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone I figured I was doing the right thing but when they told me I didn't want to ruin the sex I had with the guy I love I panicked.
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A
female
reader, supermum  +, writes (6 January 2010):
 I think you are amazingly mature for your age, and it is refreshing to hear someone take their virginity seriously. What you have to remember is, once its gone, you cant take it back, so let your friends have sex with people they dont really love, but you wait. You will know when the time is right. Although waiting until you are married is a great goal, you will know when the time is right. And think how special it will be. How many stories do you hear of people who regretted their first time? I have heard thousands. (literally) and its such a shame, because its special to you. I know this is not true for all men AT ALL, but certainly in my experience men are more keen to loose their virginity than girls. You are doing the right thing. |dont let anyone pressure you into anything you dont want to do. If you want to save your virginity, but you find a boy that you really love, dont forget their are other things you can do rather than jumping straight into sex.
Once again, i congratulate you.
xoxoxoxo
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2010): I waited until I met the right man and did not regret it all! I was in my late 20s when I met him.
Sex was great fun because it was with a man I wanted to be with. He knew what he was doing - since he was older and experienced. And we learnt about each other's bodies. He would still not get some stuff about me. And I still managed to surprise him a few times.
It's not like one does not know anything - there is so much sexual curiosity and one tends to find out stuff. I was fairly comfortable with his body early on. And he encouraged me to discover more - which was and continues to be great. He often tries to lecture me about what is usual in men and how he may be different but that is all in fun.
I think its silly to say that you NEED sexual variety. No matter how many men you sleep with there would be something you would not have tried.. how does that help?
It is your choice. I did not cling on to my virginity. It was not a really conscious decision. It just so happened that I never felt like giving it up in the back seat of a car or to a drunk stranger or a date. So when I did, I was sure that I wanted it.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (6 January 2010):
Listen to yourself. If you want to wait until you're married, then you do just that. Do what you want, not what someone else wants.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2010): Type in "My girlfriend's past" in DearCupid's search.Maybe that can help you to understand most of the guys better.Please check the number of the search results.You would be amazed.You are doing a great thing.I wish my daughter grows up to be like you.Do not give in to peer pressure.Listen to your heart. ~Mrs.Anon
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A
female
reader, Blod +, writes (6 January 2010):
 What you're doing is right because it's what you want. There's nothing wrong with waiting 'til you're married. It's something to respect. Not many people do and I can understand why your friends are telling you not to, but everyone's different and sex is different for everyone. The most important thing is that you're happy with it and do what you want.
Some people believe sex before marriage is important so that you marry the right sexual partner. Issues can develop with sex and many people would rather not discover these problems once their married, but this makes people picky and more likely to compare which isn't what sex's about! Waiting 'til marriage makes it more special. You know that the person you're with loves you for who you are and is committed to you.
So please do what you think is right. Your boyfriend has agreed to wait so there shouldn't be a problem. You're lucky to have a boyfriend who understands you and isn't rushing you into anything.
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A
female
reader, mexicana897 +, writes (6 January 2010):
If you absolutely want to, you can wait. I personally don't think it's a good idea though, since sex IS a really important part of our lives, especially relationships, so a bad sex life CAN destroy a marriage.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (6 January 2010):
 I think you should do what feels right for you. Dont listen to anyone else, their opinions are their own and while they have the right to express their own opinions, you dont have to listen to them or necessarily believe in them too. If you want to wait then that is the right thing for you - follow your heart, dont give up on what you believe in and do the right thing for you - not for someone else.
It is great you have met such an understanding guy - he sounds like a good one so keep hold of him!
Waiting for sex until you are married wont "ruin" the sex, that is just a silly thing to say from someone who is too immature to understand what sex is really about. Sex is only special when you are with someone you love and care about, and they feel the same way about you. If anything, sex will only be more special when you are married because you have waited so long and it will be sharing a very special moment between the two of you.
I always believe you should stick to your beliefs and do what feels right for you - never give in to peer pressure or let other people influence you. Only have sex when the time feels right and you are totally ready for it.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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