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male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I found a video of my wife with an ex, she says she thought they had been erased. I knew they had sex and that my wife wasn't a virgin, so I am not so disappointed by that, but rather in the video he finished by giving her a facial. I always fantasize about giving her a facial, but she never lets me do it. Why did she do it for him? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2010): A lot of women will do more sexually adventurous things with a man who treats them badly than one who treats them better.
Unlike a lot of people, I am willing to call this what it is - a psychological problem. This encourages her to spend more time in abusive relationships and push away better ones.
A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (1 May 2010):
 Before you start worrying about what she does/does not do with you, ask yourself who else has copies of videos of your wife having sex...that would be my concern for you.
In my experience when a woman is willing to do any sex act with one man, and not do the same sex act with another man, it is because these men addressed her emotional needs differently. Bottom-line is that her ex addressed her emotional needs differently than you which is why she did it with him, and refuses to do it with you.
Figure out what emotional needs of hers that you are weakest in addressing, and when you address them, she is likely to be interested in doing with you, what she did to her past lover(s).
-Frank
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A
female
reader, cnith  +, writes (1 May 2010):
 It's probably BECAUSE she did it with that guy she doesn't do it with you. Women aren't porn stars. No one likes getting hit in the face with a loogie the size of a small cupcake hitting you at 100 mph (the average speed of ejaculation) in spurts. She probably did it to satisfy him or b/c she thought she had to, stupid porn movies and all.
Tell you what, get some tapioca pudding. Put it in a mustard or ketchup bottle with that cone like top thing on it? You know, you see them at fairs or 7-11's. Squeeze the sh on your face several times and see how that feels. It's disgusting...
Now if you meant a REAL facial...as in lotion on the face, then scrub, then mask or whatever, that's different. But I'm guessing she just doesn't like it. Not all women like girly things. I personally don't like facials, mani's and pedi's. I rather get food. I'm weird, I know.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (1 May 2010):
 So, you found a video of your wife and her ex. And you sat down with some pocorn and watched until the end. You didn't like what you saw... Hmm, maybe should have thought about that before you decided to watch the entire thing.
She clearly just doesn't like getting facial, that's not rocket science. Stop watching vids of your wife and her ex because they only will make you jealous! And let this go and tell her to delete all vids and make sure her ex deletes the vids as well. The last thing you want is to see the same video online.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (1 May 2010):
 I don't think cumming on a face is disrespectful. I heard there is a wife who had perfect skin and everybody asked what secret she had and she said she uses her husband's cum to wash her face. For other people, marriage is real life and cumming on face is fantasy. They clash. Maybe she just doesn't see a husband/potential father/provider to be a cum sprayer. The reason why she didn't marry her ex was because he wasn't husband material. Some people had difficulty juggling roles as spouse, sexy kitten slut, mother, friend at the same time. Just keep it simple with her. Maybe one day when she complains about the "spark" being gone you could suggest what she and her ex used to do.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2010): Respect has nothing to do with this, unfortunately so often when a woman feels she has a hook in a guy sexual adventure goes out the door. Some woman act as if sperm is so nasty, can you imagine if we acted that way when we got pussy juice on our face? You should simply ask her why she would do it with him and not with the man she supposedly loves
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A
male
reader, charlie p  +, writes (30 April 2010):
I'm impressed you watched the tape! Not only that but finished it too. Lord knows I couldn't see my girlfriend with an Ex.
That's not sarcasm, genuinely you've got a solid relationship there, well done.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (30 April 2010):
 Maybe she knows you always want to do it, and she's doesn't want to start something that means she's going to get get semen up her nose and in her eyes every time? Maybe she doesn't want to have to wash her hair before going to sleep.
Maybe she finds it to be a turn off? Maybe it makes her think you are watching too much porn? Maybe she doesn't want to?
The only way you'll know is to ask her. We can only guess.
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A
male
reader, C. Grant +, writes (30 April 2010):
 She may simply have been young and experimenting. She may have not yet been self-confident enough to refuse things she didn't like. Or she may have decided on the basis of that experience that she didn't like it. The only way you'll ever know for sure is to ask her.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2010): maybe she just shut up and put up about it cos guy liked it so much ... or maybe you have such a better open honest relationship that she can truthfully tell you what is a turn on and a big turn off for her, be honoured even if you don't get to fulfil your fantasy. Personally i wouldn't want a facial, can't think of any lass that truely would want one unless in the porn industry and paid big bucks to fake it. Sorry dude.
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A
female
reader, BunnyTee +, writes (30 April 2010):
 Seriously, why ask why? It was a different man, different time, and different place she was in...leave it alone. Don't go down the but you did it for him route. If you need this from her then be straight up honest and frank about it to her..leave the ex out of it. He's not in the mix, she's with you, don't drag the ex in where he no longer belongs. Those sort of tapes are more problem than they're worth, anyway. Let it go.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2010): Probably a heat of the moment thing, or maybe it was a surprise, but because it was being taped she accepted it. Who knows but her? You'll have to ask her in order for this not to eat away at you and your relationship.
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A
female
reader, goowes +, writes (30 April 2010):
 Because she didn't know what the hell she was doing and respects her self more now learned from experience it wasn't so great for the girl. Spray your own face and see the perspective
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