A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi all, it's been a while since I posted on here, but I really need some help/clearance. I used to casually date a guy for about 5 months (we were never together) when I first started dating him he had just been dumped by his long term girlfriend. I ended up really falling for this man, but he ended things as he 'wasn't ready for a relationship'. Soon after I met my current boyfriend of 3 years whom I truly love. I went 2 years no contact with this other man, but if I'm honest I still thought about him. About 6 months ago I bumped into him in a nightclub, a group of us spent the night together and I can honestly say I didnt feel anything for him. But we kept in irregular contact. In these past 3 months though our contact has increased to the point where we (were) texting every other day. Although at first I was initiating most conversations, this then switched and it was him initiating most of them. He remembers so much about the times when we dated. He is genuinely a nice guy. I spoke to him about my boyfriend and he told me about a particular girl he was dating whom he has recently started a relationship with and they went away together. His texts to me have decreased a bit lately. I can't get rid of this feeling that I was never good enough for him and it makes me feel like crap. What I'd like to know is, is why did he stay in touch? Was he just being polite or was he just keeping his options open (even though I'm taken) and now he has this girl he doesn't need to?Also, will I ever be able to let go of this feeling of not feeling good enough for him?Any help would be appreciated, Thanks.
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female
reader, BLONDII3  +, writes (29 August 2012):
 Everyone always imagines past relationships/dates through rose-tinted glass- the reality is that your time with this guy probably wasnt as nice as you think you remember! Afterall he did mess you around for 5 months before telling you he wasnt ready for a relationship! It is nice that you both have managed to keep some irregular contact. He may have stayed in touch cause he cares for you as a friend or it could be that he is just genuinley a bit of a player who likes to keep his options open! As for not feeling good enough for him- you shouldn't feel that way at all- he is simply someone who you dated and who things never worked out with (most likely cause he was just out of a relationship and not quite over his ex at that stage). But you shouldnt worry about him - you say you truely love your current boyfriend who has been there for you for three years- forget about this loser! He had his chance- he blew it and now you're in love with someone who things obviously work well with! Everyone loves a bad guy- but dont ruin the perfect romance you have for such a loser! You will only end up hurt - Hope everything works out! :)
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