A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend and I have been good friends for years. We began hanging out and eventually dating this summer before I moved to the east coast for grad school. We see one another on breaks. I love her and we have great communication. She joined a co-ed fraternity this year and is quite involved with it. She has made many great friends and I'm happy for her because she's happy. However, as little of me as it sounds, I'm slightly jealous of one of her good friends. She rarely updates her Facebook profile but occasionally uploads photos of special occasions like her fraternity banquet or retreat. Besides her many girlfriends, she has two great looking guys by her side (only one of them is straight though). I can't help but notice him because he's so similar to me (ethnicity, major, age, etc.) and I'm sure she knows he's handsome and successful too. I'm just a little jealous but more curious. How can I "get over" this feeling? My best friend wasn't helpful saying "Damn he's good looking. I wanna look like that!" Is it okay to ask my gf questions out of curiosity? I know she will be understanding but I feel silly. I don't want her to think I'm so small. Thanks!
View related questions:
best friend, facebook, jealous Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (11 February 2014):
Well ask her to tell you about her friends, and by all means ask about this guy. But maybe ask questions about what he does, why they get on, that kind of thing. Nothing that would indicate you are jealous or feeling a bit insecure about it. Don’t force her to say whether she thinks he is attractive, for example. She may say yes, because he’s good-looking, even though she isn’t interested. But that will make that little seed turn in to a more serious insecurity problem.
It’s okay to show an interest in her life, including her friends. But make it clear you’re glad she’s found people she gets on with. Ultimately this is about trust, whether you can let this go or not will tell you if there is a trust issue or whether this is the normal low level of jealously that isn’t serious enough to undermine the trust in a relationship.
I wish you all the very best.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (11 February 2014):
 You can ask about him... but don't accuse her. Probably nothing going on.
Just because a guy is good looking does not mean he's a catch. Personality and intelligence are also critical.
Being jealous of someone means you are insecure. it does not mean love...
...............................
|
