A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:This might seem like an odd question, but it's in the context of a lot of other behaviour that I won't go into.Is it unusual for a man in his 30's or 40's to take lots of photographs of himself - I mean lots of him doing activities but also lots of him that he's taken of his own face (portraits) by aiming the camera at himself and to keep them around him - not exactly 'secret' but in drawers or inside books and so on. Also, is it unusual for the same man to carry a photograph of himself, his brother and his mother, all squashed together in one of those photo-booth places, from when he was about 9 years old? It's a strange thing, but the guy I'm referring to has this odd way of behaving as if he is his own audience, or as if he is anticipating an audience that will find these things after he dies or something. It's very weird. There are lots of other things. He keeps a small pocket diary - it's not a private kind, he doesn't mind people looking at it - but goes to enormous effort to make it visually interesting - as if he is leading a very full, cultured and interesting life - I can't quite put my finger on it, but it's stylised in a way as if he is honestly seeing himself through someone else's eyes.Lots more things, but I won't go into them - just wondered what people think. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2014): Yes, A female reader anonymous is also right - along with Cerberus - I honestly get the feeling that he is leaving a trail for people to find after he is dead. I think he really, really wants to be a famous artist and I do feel that he is 'planting' all this stuff about himself. I'm not saying it's necessarily a bad thing but it sometimes just gives me a really weird feeling. He is obsessed with this one artist who had his studio on show to the public after his death, with loads of interesting personal things mixed in with his work and so on. It feels as if this is what this guy is doing, but doing is orchestrating it in advance, rather than just letting it happen so to speak. I guess I'm only slightly weirded out about it because, if this is what he is doing, it seems very controlling. The other behaviours that I didn't go into all involve him being in control somehow, or possibly trying to control me. At this early stage I'm not sure if it is me being over-cautious. He doesn't have kids but doesn't seem bothered either way about having them.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2014): Perhaps he is just wanting to leave something behind that people will remember him for. It could be a strange mid-life crisis. Does he have kids? Usually the kids we have are our legacy. In his case, if there are no children he may be feeling that empty void. Also make sure he's not posting his photos on line secretly with a dating site. This can also be the reason a man of his age is suddenly taking pictures of himself and keeping a journal. Good luck.
...............................
A
male
reader, Gauntlet  +, writes (11 February 2014):
 As we have very few informations to edit a 100% reasonable judgment, here is what can be supposed:_ he is working on his self-portrait as did a lot of famous artists. Your own portrait is a good tool to gauge your skill and your improvements, presently in photography._ he is preparing an art project, like the (numerous) guys who photograph themselves during a year or ten to show the impact of time passing on their face (deja vu all over again)._ he is a serious narcissist and loves his own image more than anything else.Remark: I notice when a girl collect tens (or hundreds) of pictures of herself in a vast variety of poses (it's to say a large part of women) everybody find it normal, part of the "woman culture". When a guy do the same, he must be a weirdo, a maniac or anything else creepy, what do I know ?Women often complain of "social pressure" on them, but the role of men is much, much more delimited, and trying to deviate even half an inch from that narrow line is often source of contempt, mockery and finally, ostracism. Just a proof among many ? Go to your local department store, and just compare the surface granted to men with regard to what is granted to women. Women's life is much varied than men's life. That's irrefragable.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2014): Hi Everyone thanks for responding, especially Cerberus who I think has completely hit the nail on the head - he is very creative. I suppose I just wondered if the diary thing were appropriate to a man his age - honestly I don't have much experience of men this age as my ex was 6 years younger than me and nothing like this person.I think I'm just new to this person and whilst I'm familiar with selfies these didn't seem like that at all - I just honestly never came across a man who has photos - I mean actual printed photos - of himself littered around - I'm a bit wary after coming out of a long relationship and meeting new men, so I'm just being extra cautious that's all. I also was not sure of what to make of a man having a photo of his mum in his wallet but I guess it's no big deal.Thanks everyone, I feel very reassured!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2014): It's a hobby. You said it was in the context of things you didn't want to go into, so how can we determine if it is really unusual? It apparently is to you. People are obsessed with taking selfies these days. I doesn't surprise me in the least. I don't find it odd.
Some people keep diaries. Some people keep photographic biographies of all their activities. Watching themselves age or change. It may come across as odd and unusual to people who don't get it. He likes to chronicle his life. He cherishes life, and he's basically pleased with watching things happen and keeping a record to view in the future.
His close-ups are really an expression of how things affect him. He relates to time and places through these pictures of himself. He freezes a moment in his thought-process.
For some, that is therapeutic.
Most photographers and photo-freaks obsess on images, and can't help but take pictures of anything that strikes them as interesting. It can include themselves or anyone else.
I was riding on a train, and a young man sat next to me. He had recently finished grad-school, and back-packed all over Europe. He had photographs of himself doing everything,and pictures of just about everything around him. He never wanted to lose those memories. They were beautiful and interesting. There seemed to be hundreds of them.
I would be more concerned if your boyfriend was keeping secret photos of things he shouldn't.
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (11 February 2014):
 There is a group of people doing exactly what you describe he's doing with the daily planner: http://www.arttothe5th.com/the-documented-life-project-details/
It's an art project, a creative endeavor, a way to be artistic and creative.
It sounds perfectly fine to me.
What is your concern? All the other behavior you aren't telling us about?
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (11 February 2014):
 Bah- even President Obama takes selfies , I don't see why this guy shouldn't. Perhaps he is going a bit overboard with the quantity- maybe he is an egocentric type.
As for the pics, I carry my son's pics in my wallet.One is current, the other is when he was 3 years old. I never suspected that anybody could find it strange . Is it ? Well, a friend of mine always carries around the pic of her Labrador :)
The journal too , I basically do the same. Not to make myself sound more interesting or cultured. Just, it does not interest me writing a typical " Dear journal, today I am feeling so and so, I went to X, met Y " etc. I may past theatre programmess of shows that I attended, or catalogues of art exhibitions. Postcards from museums, flyers from new restaurants, stuff like that. Also quotes from books that stuck to my mind , and little sketches. A scrapbook of sort. Why is that strange ? They even teach scrapbook classes !
It sounds all pretty innocuous to me, what is it exactly that you find disturbing in it ?
...............................
A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (11 February 2014):
Perhaps the bigger question here is, why do you care so much about these small personality quirks of his?
I'll be honest here- I find that far more strange than someone keeping a colorful diary,taking a bunch of selfies, or keeping a childhood photo.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (11 February 2014):
 it doesn't raise any red flags for me at all...
you say "as if he's leading a full cultured interesting life"
are you implying he's not? are you implying he makes this stuff up and is out of touch with reality as in mentally ill?
my journals (diaries) when I kept them on paper were full of drawings and notes and cut out pages of stuff I liked. It's a journaling technique used often.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2014): It's a bit unusual but I don't think it's anything negative. Sounds like he's just an artist type, whose creativity is egocentric, focussed on him, his place in the world and it's something he puts deep thought into.
I carry pictures of my family and one of me and wife in my wallet. They're my heart, the most beautiful things to see for me. I like to have them always with me, to remind me they're always with me and to remind me that those are the people I must always honour in everything I do in life. My family one is about 15 years old because that's when I started carrying it. Lots of people keep photos on them of their family and loved ones.
Disregarding the behaviour you haven't gone into it seems like a past-time.
People do this stuff as a matter of course on social media, selfie is even a dictionary term now. It's not a whole lot different.
In my experience truly artistic people have an almost obsessive focus on one theme or style whether that is sculpting faces, hands or taking pictures of human faces. His seems to be pictures and writings about himself.
Basically OP I think it sounds like a creative hobby.
Me and my wife are gamers. When you walk around our house you see game related stuff all over the place. Magazines, pretty much every console, PC's, laptops, tablets etc. We even have high end models of game characters on display.
It's just a reflection of what we're interested in. His interest is in viewing his life and himself objectively. There isn't necessarily anything bad in that at all without any more detail based on what you've said I see no harm in it at all. I have a friend who is fascinated by hands, he sees so much meaning and emotion in them and he sculpts that. He even asks people if he can take pictures of their hands on his phone if they have really unique. It's a bit unusual but it's completely harmless.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (11 February 2014):
 I don't find it strange, but a little unusual for sure. However in the day and age with people plastering "selfies" all over the Internet, having some self-portrait seems kind of tame. Since he is 30-40 I can see why he does the photos instead of selfies on the Internet.
He could be doing this for two reasons. To explore and better understand himself self - the age old question WHO AM I? or to express himself to others.
Is he a photographer? Or is it a hobby? Does he take other pictures them of himself?
My guess is that the photo-booth picture hold special significance to him. Maybe the day was special or something happened that he will never forget.
The pocket diary - I think that actually sweet. It could be to make him feel like his life is more exciting then it is or he is just an artistic man - my guess is the latter because of the taking photographs. My guess is also that he has more of these diaries (older ones and that they have gotten better looking over the years).
And my question to you, WHY not simple ask him about the picture? Or did you find them while snooping?
It's part of who he is, my question to you is, why do YOU find it so strange/odd?
...............................
|
