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(User's title) Am I a phantom?

Tagged as: Dating, Friends, Health, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 October 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 10 October 2010)
A female United States age 26-29, *?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] writes:

I'm new to this site and I seen that it gives advice, so I figured why not to join, right? I always wanted to know why... Can't I get a guy that will treat me like a princess, maybe I'm misfortunate enough to go for the pricks.. I'm not sure, I just need answers please. Than whenever I do find a great one, I end up getting my heart shattered. I thought one of my ex's was different but I was obviously wrong. Not to be rude and make myself look better, but my best friend is pregnant, she doesn't really take good care of herself, has body odor, and alot, I mean all my other friends tell me she is a bad influence since she is a trouble maker. Even through those factors, she has an amazing boyfriend.. The baby daddy didn't want to take the responsibility so he's out of the picture til she needs child support. It's hard being a teen and having kids your age tell you it's pathetic to be a virgin. I guess I'm different, and get told I'm rare to find since I'm waiting for the right person I don't want to regret anything.. I am young yet, I can experience that in the future. And maybe that's a reason why relationships don't last long for me, since alot of guys like sex. I just can't rush though, I'm just not ready for it. Everyone tells me I'm funny, beautiful, even though I don't believe I am.. I just prefer the term 'cute', or 'pretty'. Than they say I'm very caring and generous, I don't put myself first, I put others first. I'm not self centered. No, I am NOT trying to brag either. I'm not perfect, I have cried myself to sleep and have attempted worse numerous amounts of times. I look back now and I see that would has done absolutley nothing. I always seem to give others advice, rather than to give my own self advice.. I go to counseling for depression, I have a very low self esteem, I'm very shy, and my confidence tends to be low as well.. I'm trying very hard to get better just for my sake. It's usually because I used to get bullied repeatedly in Middle school, and I've never been the same since. Now I'm in 9th grade, I would have been in 10th but I failed since I was absent frequently. This year is okay, it's alot better in high school. My weight though is another issue, I'm always on about my appearance. It's not like I don't do anything, I go to the gym and exersize, and work at my best. I don't think I smell bad, I take a shower, and sometimes a bath later during the day, everyday. I try to look pretty, and try different clothing combinations. I guess I'm trying too hard. Sorry, I just need help and needed to get this off my chest to release stress.

View related questions: best friend, bullied, confidence, my ex, self esteem, shy

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A female reader, misLadYd.. South Africa +, writes (10 October 2010):

misLadYd.. agony aunti think you are awesome and you should wait for the rite person but how do we know if we have found the right person?its hard.guys who treat girls like princesses are rare but you know what?if you are patient enough you wil find your prince.when you look in the mirror just say 'i am beatiful.thats how you gain confidence.you are living a healthy life and i hope you wil reach your goal soon

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A male reader, Cerberus_Raphael Sweden +, writes (10 October 2010):

Cerberus_Raphael agony auntIt is difficult to find someone at that age because all the boys would typically only want sex. Everyone is hormonally ruled at that age.

You may not find anyone just yet but wait until you're older, wait until you meet someone new and that man will treat you like a princess. You will find a man who is wiser than anyone you'd find in high school because high school relationships rarely ever work out, even if they do eventually survive through high school, later on in life, they will fall apart because people change and right now, everyone is going through colossal changes, mentally and physically and they don't even know what they want. Clearly though, you do, all you need to do is wait.

And don't believe it when you tell yourself that you are not beautiful. From the way you wrote, you seem like a beautiful person. Never doubt that. Find that confidence to be happy and beauty will follow. You are not the only one to have doubted their beauty, I suppose in a way that is a good thing because later on in life, you'll find that you were wrong this whole time and everyone else was right when they said you were beautiful. Hopefully someone (the man who'll treat you like a princess) will make you see it and feel it too.

I hope that helps.

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