A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ok so there's this guy that im crazy about that i've dated for a while in the past but we somehow stopped seeing each other with no formal break-up or anything. we started back talking about 5 months ago and ended up having sex for the first time. he would always ask me if i wanted to be single or if i liked being single and just dropping little hints that he was still interested but he never formally asked me if i wanted a relationship again. now months later we still have sex which i know is bad on my part but i guess im just letting my feeling for him takeover me. its like i cant say no even when i tell myself not to have sex with him i end up doing it anyway. he only calls me when he wants to have sex but i dont even know where i stand with him. are we "friends with benefits" or what? i have no title or anything with him but im afraid to ask because i dont wanna run him away. in the back of my mind i know he's using me but i still feel as if he still wants to be with me. or do i need a reality check (lol) i really like him but its confusing how our relationship turned out. i dont know what to do!! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (14 April 2009):
 The fact that you are on this site asking the question means that what is going on between you and this guy is not sitting well with you.
Yes we all like sex in our lives at different times in our lives but we don't just want sex buddies most of the time, we want to feel loved and needed and you are not getting this from this guy. Don't always make yourself available.
Go out and ask about doing something with him that doesn't involve sex i.e. a date or activity, maybe bowling or clubbing/dancing. See what his reaction is, if he is not keen then you know where you stand - so to speak.
Don't be anyone's doormat sweetheart, you deserve better than that and how do you know he isn't having sex with more than just you right now, be safe and always use a condom as he could be spreading his love life around.
The reality check here is - WHAT DO YOU WANT OUT OF LIFE? Do you want a sex buddy or do you want a relationship with a guy? Once you know the answer to that question, you will know what to do. I realise you are still young but you will never go and look for a relationship whilst you are still just having sex with this guy.
If you make yourself unavailable and not just there for sex then you might start to find out if this guy is interested in you as a person or just the sex OK.
Keep us posted eh!
BFN
Country Woman
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