A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Right here goes..It has been 2 years since I broke up with my Ex. Oh I loved him so much, he was the best boyfriend I could ever ask for. We were 2gether for 2 years. He wasnt the sort of person I would usually go for. Where to start! he was rough, poor, no job. He had nothing going for him to be honest! But I fell for him straight away. He was so lovely. I lost my V to him and he made me so happy. Everything was perfect, but for some reason he just lost interest, even though he was always the one chasing me if we fell out, he was mad about me. He just seemed to get bored. And one day I went round 2 his house and he was with another girl. I couldnt believe it. I was so hurt. And he said he wanted her and not me. Well 2 this day I have always wanted him back I cant carry on feeling like this. I still love him. I am currently in a shit relationship. I just want 2 c him and everything go back to the way it was. He means the world 2 me. I NEED him :(
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female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (14 April 2009):
 What you need to realise is that you DO NOT NEED HIM! What you are feeling is the need to have a loving and happy relationship, it is not about your ex! You had a great relationship with this guy and you want that feeling back - but you dont want him in particular because he hurt you so much.
What you need to do is end your "shit" relationship and spend some time alone, at least a couple of months. I had an amazing relationship about 3 years ago and it ended for a number of reasons, and still to this day I love him with all my heart. But I know for a number of reasons we cant get back together therefore I can never be with him. While this hurts like hell, the best thing for me is to be alone while I get over feeling like this.
I used to bounce from one relationship to the next, trying to fill the void that my ex left. But what I found was that no-one matches up to him. So there is no point in forcing yourself into a relationship just to fill the gap that your ex has left - you need to be alone and learn to be happy alone.
Even if you saw this ex of yours now, the relationship would never be the same. You cannot get this back - he cheated on you and you would never be able to trust him again. The vision that you have in your head of the two of you together is just a fantasy - something that happened a long time ago. You cannot get this back and will only end up hurting yourself further if you try - so focus your energies on yourself for a change.
Getting back with your ex wont make you happy - I know it feels that way now but this is just because you have not met a guy yet that matches up to him. Give yourself the space and time you need to move on and really get over him, and then eventually when you are not looking the right guy will come along!
What you are feeling is perfectly natural but the answer to your problems is not your ex. End the current relationship as he is not making you happy, and then just be alone for a while. It will be hard but it will do you the world of good.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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