A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My wife attended her work Christmas party and her boss said he wanted to have an affair with her and other comments, such as her body it so hot he want to Fuc* her etc. I was furious and confronted her boss. He said it was all in kidding. From talking to her friends at work (all women) this is not the first time he has said things about her. He reffered to her as a slut at one other work party when he was drinking. He also yells at her and other workers if he is mad. My wife does not think its that big of a deal, she said she was creeped out by the comments. But said he is a jerk and not to worry about it. I can't not worry, I don't want anyone treating my wife in this way. Do you think I am over reacting or is she under reacting? **** First thanks to the response to my first posting on this, I feel better knowing this is a big deal and I'm not over-reacting. I was not sure where to respond to the input so hopefully this works. Another thing that bothered me is I found this out from one of her co workers and she did not tell me about it until I asked, and than did not tell me everything anyhow. I thought we had a close and loving relationship. I was really hurt by that. Should I be? She does not want to confront him about it or take legal action. She just says its not that big of a deal. When I confronted him about it, And he went back to her about it,she told him she had not heard what was said, only what people had told me....(and of course he said he didn't remember what he said) I was not sure what to think of this? Why would she not stand up for herself? I am to the point that for my own sanity I need her to quit there, just the thought of someone treating her like that makes my blood boil. She also says he is a jerk.. She said she will go on part time and look at quitting towards the end of the year. She is burned out with this type of work anyhow (her words). I am irritated everytime she goes in there to work there, HELP! P.S. her boss also has a wife who he is very abusive towards, He yells at her and calls her fat and a dumb cunt.. ect.. I have not heard this for my self but from others. His wife knows what he said and she just ignored it. I know its thier problem, but I just thought it was odd his wife did not care about the things he said about him my wife.. Sorry this is so long, as you can see it is bothering me and I need input.
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affair, at work, christmas, co-worker Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, REALLYDISSTRESSED  +, writes (13 January 2013):
If I know for sure what you are saying Id insist she quit soon as possible.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2010): is your wife not subtley encouraging him. why is she not upset?
btw, the sooner she gets away from him the better. i would watch/ monitor the wifey from now on.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2010): You are completely justified and correct in wanting your wife to be away from this P.O.S. and wanting to protect your wife from the P.O.S.
Your wife didn't say anything to you because she was trying to protect you.
IF this P.O.S. "boss" is not THE Boss (owner) and has a "boss" at work himself your wife needs to document all the information, (WHO-WHAT-WHEN-WHERE-HOW) write it ALL down and take the documentation to the P.O.S. boss's BOSS!
Companies don't put up with sexual/mental/physical harrassment. Companies donot want the cost of lawsuits !!
This is a really easy fix if the POS Boss isn't the Owner!!
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A
female
reader, Risingfromashes +, writes (23 January 2010):
His wife doesn't care because it takes some of the hate off her for a bit. I feel so sorry for her, and for you being frustrated. I dunno where u live or anything but is your wife worried she won't find a job somewhere else? She should be able to anonomously report his behavior somehow and maybe could get some co-workers to do the same as proof. That guy needs to be fired and a lot more, unfortunatly I bet his wife will be at the other end of the stick when he gets angry about losing his job/ego. It would be frightening to me as a woman and don't take it the wrong way- but she may be afraid that you confronting him could trigger the psycho to well, do something MORE crazy than usual whether to you and/or her and/or his wife, but neither of you can be responsible for her obviously. Ask your wife about contacting human resources or something. If he isn't fired and you can both handle
It financially, she should be looking for other work. Take care and best wishes. Try not to come off on the offensive twords your wife, even if it's truly defense. If she refuses to report him anonomously, then something is wrong there... Best of luck.
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