A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi EveryoneReally hoping for some advice and reassurance.First some history. I split up with my ex husband 3 years ago, and apart from a fling right after the breakup (definate rebound fling) I havent slept with anyone since. Partly through choice and partly through circumstance, having 2 young children (one of whome was a baby at the time) is not conducive to an active sex life.Anyway, I have met a lovely lovely man. A realy gentleman. We have been dating a while now and I'm going to stay at his place for the weekend. Up until now there has been nothing more than a nice smooch. Now I feel ready for sex, I want sex, because I really really like him and want him for him. In fact I've wanted to rip his clothes off long before now, but he really is a gentleman and we have taken things very slowly. He is somewhat older than me (I'm early 30's, he is mid-late 40's) yet we connect on a level I havent felt in such a long long time if ever. However I am absoloutly terrified.I'm actually more scared than I was losing my virginity. Its not that I am inexperienced, life before children and marriage found me a bit of a wild child, but now... I'm a different woman. I'm not so concerned about my body (other than the usual hang ups we all have), but the act itself. Its been so long, I'm not sure I remember how to be a good lover anymore.The man I am seeing is very very gentle and caring, but its been so long for me. Is it normal to be this nervous? Can anyone offer any advice or draw from their own experiences.words of wisdome welcome!
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my ex, ready for sex, sex life, split up Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWoW!
I forgot all about writing this!
I thought I should give you all some feedback. Well you were all right, I didnt forget and things went fairly smoothly.
Sadly though the relationship wasnt built to last. We remain great friends, but our differences of religion (he christian and me atheist), and his want for his own biological children meant that things just didnt work out.
Thanks to everyone who offered advice back then!
A
male
reader, boxOfWisdom  +, writes (19 March 2011):
Dont worry, you feel like you have forgoten, but you will remember when it come time, its like rideing a bike, you never forget how to do that so how can enjoying a man be any different ;)
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A
male
reader, HotGeek  +, writes (18 October 2010):
I've recently been with a woman, 40, who was a few years without sex as well, and I must say that she definitely didn't forget anything.
In fact I don't know why men like young women...
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (18 October 2010):
 I really liked your post. It was sweet. I think you've found a keeper there, he does sound lovely. My only advice is to just relax and enjoy every moment as your relationship unfolds and develops. Savor every tingly second.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2010): well,i think its totally normal to feel nervous.on the other hand,i think its a great idea to share and express what you are feeling and thinking about this gentlemen.whats the worst that can happen?if for whatever reason he rejects you,then you have to make a choice then, weather you want to continue dateing him or not.i think u should huury up and tell him.maybe because hes such a gentlemen,hes afraid to let you know hes ready for sex as well.he seems like a great man.they hard to find honey.so go for it.i wish you the best and lots of blessings.
sincerly,
lisa,from the
bronx
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A
female
reader, Miss.Me +, writes (18 October 2010):
 Don't worry, you've been through this already :D It will come naturally to you. You are nervous just because you are thinking about it right now, but when it comes time for you two to get intimate you'll know exactly what to do. It won't be just you there, it takes two to tango, remember? :p
Also, good for you for finding a good man!
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