A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Ok, we have had discussions of having a threesome, but always decide that realistically it's best left as a fantasy. Ok, fine...wrong.I find lately my dreams are constantly on the subject. Sometimes I am turned on about it, sometimes it pisses me off. Probably a good indication that it's a risk not worth taking as 50/50 in the like/dislike arena, which probably holds true in real life. It's a bell that can't be unwrung once you try.Here is the thing though, when I have dreams of my wife giving oral to another man I am never upset. The 50/50 is only when vaginal sex is involved. Does this mean that I am ok with her blowing another man? I sort of want to keep it a fantasy, but honestly the dreams are every day and the thought of them sends butterflies to my stomach. I do love her, it's not that I'm bored with her or anything, but I just want something to be completely about her. Ironically, she says she may want a FFM, which for some reason I don't want. I am not a minute man, but I'm not a stallion either.So please, any help is appreciated.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2010): dont go there in reality. it is absolutely better kept as a fantasy. mal
A
male
reader, uncutdan +, writes (10 March 2010):
 Hey Buddy,
What exactly is it about her blowing another guy with you there that makes you so hot? Is it the fact that you are watching her or the fact that you are watching him. You need to be real with yourself too when you answer. Contrary to the other advice, i feel you should explore it. Not cause its a fantasy of mine too, but because you said it makes you angry. Anger is a secondary emotion which will come from your sexual frustration with the situation. If you never do it, you will allow that anger to culminate and will likely take it out on your wife when triggered. You will establish blame on her for it never happening, resentments will build and your relationship will go to hell. If she is interested in FFM then you need to also accommodate her desires too though. But definately communicate to her why you want to do it and why it is making you feel the way it does.
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (10 March 2010):
 Yep I agree fantasies are always better kept as a fantasy!
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A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (10 March 2010):
 I've heard of guys who went into it with no doubts at all, and came out with huge regrets. I think going in with doubts is dangerous as hell. Hey, it's a fantasy that works for you -- leave it at that.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2010): You know the answer to your question. Don't ring the bell!
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