A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have a problem and I'm so tortured. I am suffering from unrequited love with a co-worker. He flirts with me constantly and I turn into a giggling blushing teenager whenever I see him. I know he knows I like him because I feel like he enjoys teasing me and flirting. He's definitely a player and he's behavior hurts me because all I do is fantasize about him, dream about being intimate with him and it makes are real-life interactions so awkward for me. To make matters worse, about a month ago, I offered to take him out for his birthday, which is quickly and happily accepted but then he never followed up with me to set up a date and time. And of course, I never asked him about it and so its just hanging. How do I get over this? Should I remain optimistic that he may still make his move? I'm suffering.
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co-worker, flirt, player, teasing Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Anonny  +, writes (8 October 2008):
Hi - I can sympathise with you greatly here! - Why do men resort to flirting when they know they don't intend leading anywhere?
I have had the same problem on a couple of occasions - where I became so infatuated with the bloke who was flirting that I was convinced he loved me - when infact on both occasions they had girlfriends!!
Unrequited love is very heartbreaking - just try not to fall in love as easy next time! - I'm very wary now!!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2008): well.... did you ask him out? i am in the same situation!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2007): Thanks for both of your suggestions. On the one hand, I can do nothing and try to get over it. On the other I can put myself out there again to be hurt. I just don't know what to do. I'm afraid to say something, and him rejecting more than his silence has already done. Its really really hard. And this is my job and so I feel like I need to just let it go. Even though all I want to do is go into his office and just ask him what's going on. Its so typical for women to want to talk talk talk about everything. And everytime I do, it only makes me feel worse. I want to say something desperately but I can't.
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A
female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (15 November 2007):
 If it was up to him to pick the time and place and he hasn't done so yet, I would say let it go. There are some guys (and girls) that get an ego boost from flirting with co-workers. It's their way of getting through the work day and it gives them something to look forward to. I am sure he loves the interaction with you but if he's like the men I have know he will never act upon anything outside of work. You're going to have to find a way to be just his friend. Try to enjoy the flirting because it should make you feel good too and put a smile on your face. But at the end of the day, find another distraction so you aren't forced to fantisize about your life. I am speaking from experience. My flirting went on for 4 months and the guy kept saying things like "I really like you, call me anytime, you have nice eyes, you look wonderful, and my all time favorite, the guys are teasing me about you but I think we should just give them something to talk about because I really like you." I'm sorry but in the end I was the one with the broken heart so I know just what you are going through. Take Care
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (15 November 2007):
 Since you asked him out why don't you say something along the lines "Hey Buddy I still owe you a birthday date, so when shall we go?". See what transpires after that. Good luck!
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