A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been dating this guy, lets call him Sam, for 6 months now, and it was all going great. Until a couple of weeks ago when we lost our virginities together at only 15 (using protection).Before this the only sexual thing we did was kissing. Now all he talks about is sex, and if it's not sex it's sexual things. I feel like the only thing he wants is sex! Is this common in 15 year old boys?The thing is, I don't want sex again, I wasn't ready the first time and I am not ready to go through it again yet. I'm too young, I want to enjoy my life.I also want to be single again, as all the sex talk is driving me crazy. I don't want to hurt his feelings, and feel I can't dump him because he was the one I lost my virginity to. My best friend says I should because it's making me so unhappy.His family are really nice to me. I only get to see him at weekends or holidays because we go to different schools and our houses are about an hours walk away.Please can anyone give me advice on how to dump Sam, or at least try and make it work without sex?I really don't want to upset him because he's so sweet!Thanks in advance.x
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Dr. Reality Check +, writes (2 June 2008):
 Tell him what you said here. You're not ready for sex again in the short term future, and his talking about sex all the time is making it seem like that's all he's in it for. If he can't accept that, then you will know that you were just a piece of meat to him anyway. If he accepts it and stops talking about sex so much, you will know that he really cares.
That aside, a 15 year old boy is pretty much gonna have sex on his mind quite alot of the time. Make sure if he pressures you for sex again you get rid of him - he won't back down.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2008): I agree with A Cappella.
Just tell him the truth. You're a wise girl.
If things don't work out the just tell him that you're unhappy and would like to be single when you're so young. I know you don't want to hurt him, but it's better to live a happy life that's honest than to live an unhappy life that's not honest... I'd say that's fairly obvious.
I hope things work out for you. X
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2008): It may be your only choice.Either he's addicted to sex or
he's only with you for your body.If he just wants your body
then he doesn't really care about you.Just tell him that if
he doesn't stop asking for or talking about sex,that it
won't work out.Cause a relationship isn't just about sex.
It's about communication and understanding.So if he can't
understand and supply your needs,then just say,"Sam,I really like you,but I think it's better if we become friends.The relationship is good,but I don't want to keep
hearing about or having sex.I'm not ready for anything more,so I think it's better if we go our seperate ways.But
we can still be friends.I'm sorry".Hope that helps,if it doesn't,SORRY!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2008): Be honest with him. Did you talk about how having sex made you feel? Maybe if he knew how uncomfortable all the sexual talk is making you he would stop, but if you haven't told him otherwise he may think you enjoyed it at much as he did (not that i'm saying you didn't enjoy it) You don't have to be mean about it. Just sit down and say that you care about him a great deal but you feel as if you weren't ready to have sex with him and don't feel that you can do it again but would still like to be with him. He should understand if he cares about you, but if he continues to pester you for more sex then he doesn't care about you and he isn't worth being with. Hope that helps :)
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A
female
reader, daniellexxxx +, writes (2 June 2008):
 If yo ulike him so much talk to him about it tell him how you feel if he doesnt agree then finish him.
I know when you loose you V it's the best thing for a man and from then on they want it again and again trying new things it's natural.
But if your not ready then tell him see how he takes it then take it from there ,
Good luck x
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A
female
reader, A Cappella  +, writes (2 June 2008):
 Tell him the truth: that you weren't ready for sex and don't want to have it again until you feel you really are ready. And that you'd like to stop talking about it for a while, too. If all he wants is sex then HE'll break up with YOU, and so everything is solved. If he's okay with that, see if it makes you happy with him again. If not, then you can leave with a clear conscience.
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