A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Last year i had an on again off again "thing" with a boy in most of my classes. Over the summer i became severly depressed and cut myslef off from the guy i liked. During the time we stopped talking one of my friends used the oppertunity to start a relationship with the guy i liked. A few months ago they started going out... these days this girl is no longer my friend and tries to make my life miserable by bringing up her relationship with the guy i had unknowingky grown to love. I've spent the last few months getting over him, but around every corner this guy seems to start conversations and flirting with me. While trying to get over this guy i started to fall for my bestfriend (and ex-boyfriend who has always been there for me),but i can't fully comit to him when i still have feelings for the guy i "used to" love... being in high school im not sure if its true love or just a crush?help!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, smile(: +, writes (15 November 2010):
Learning about love is sometimes a rough thing. Whether this is love or just a crush, I think it has the ability to develop into either.
If your feelings for this other guy are keeping you from committing to your (ex)boyfriend, I would say, tell your boyfriend about how you have feelings for this other guy (if he doesn't already know), that they are confusing you, and that you need a little time to deal with them (leave the door open in case you are coming back). Tell him you are will figure this out and then either (A) you will be able to love him more completely, or (B) he won't be trying for a relationship when you can't love him completely. Tell him you have feelings for him but need to figure this out.
Next we are going to throw things back in the face of your friend who turned against you (serves her right); pursue this guy you have liked. Maybe use the grape vine to tell him you like him. Ask him on a date, if things go well ask him on another.
There are two outcomes:
-you find out you do love him, and can pursue a relationship with him.
-you find out you don't really love him, you can go back to your boyfriend.
Either way, now you know, and your friend turned mean can no longer bother you.
worst case scenario:
-you find you absolutes truly love him, and he doesn't like you at all...you are free to try to get him to like you, things don't work out---you gave it your best shot and things didn't work out. It wasn't meant to be, still you can move on.
At your age I would say it is very valuable to learn as much as you can about your feelings. Best wishes.
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