A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have become good friends with my cousin's ex for 10 months now. My cousin no longer contacts me because I kind of got involved during their break up. She asked me to do something and I asked him to go see her. He got mad and that was it. After the break up, his ex and I got to know each other and became good friends. Good friends to the point where we can say 'I love you' to each other. We considered each other like brother and sister. However, I've noticed the past two weeks that my feelings towards her have changed. I'm constantly missing her, and sometimes my heart beats really hard when I'm missing her. I also have a strong urge to say 'I love you' to her, even though I've been doing it for a while now. I think I've fallen for her, but I know the circumstances of our friendship makes things difficult. I want to tell her how I feel, but I feel it would be wrong. And I'm kind of scared. I tried ignoring my feelings for her, but life seemed dull when I did that. What should I do with my feelings for her?
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male
reader, smile(: +, writes (29 November 2010):
Sorting out your feelings usually removes blocks on feeling happy, feeling happy wasn't that weird. Always best to face things if it's possible I think.
Anyways, glad to help and I hope you keep feeling happy.
Best wishes, and
Smile(:
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey, thanks for your advice. I did take it but I kind of got rejected. I then realized that I really didn't love her in that way after all. Even thought I was rejected, I wasn't heart broken. Sounds weird, but I felt kind of happier. Thanks for your advice.
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A
male
reader, smile(: +, writes (15 November 2010):
I don't think the circumstances really are as bad as you think. It seems you cousin has no interest in the girl, and it has been 10 months. I would say a good friendship is the best foundation for a good relationship.
There is the risk, that if you tell her you have feelings for her, and she doesn't have feelings for you, and you cannot keep things from becoming awkward, you will lose the friendship. There are ways to keep things from becoming awkward, but they require a high degree of self control. If life really is dull without her, it really may be worth the risk.
I would say tell her, "We considered each other like brother and sister. However, I've noticed the past two weeks that my feelings towards her have changed. I'm constantly missing her, and sometimes my heart beats really hard when I'm missing her."
See what she says. From what you said it does not seem like already she has feelings for you, but give her time. Telling her you have feelings for her, she will consider you romantically, and either she will start to have feelings for you or she won't.
From when you tell her, give her a little time and ask her out on a date(maybe a weekish latter). I say ask her on a date instead of asking her if she likes you. Asking her on a date only means she is willing to pursue the idea. Give her some time to fall in love with you, if it is going to happen. If it does not happen, you will know you tried and things didn't work out, they probably weren't meant to be.
Girls typically like to be liked as long as it isn't awkward, if things don't work out it won't necessarily end the friendship. If things work out, again, I think the best foundation for a good relationship is a good friendship.
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