A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Basicly i am a very unattractive guy, i have no confidence whatsover in myself or my appearence , i want to change how i look but do not have the guts to do it and i want to know how to talk to girls, and i dont know if i girl is genuinly interested or just nicely saying no.so yeah advice please?
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2011): Look.. Let me tell you a bit about me.. last summer I was the most insecure guy in the world.. now I have a girlfriend who I love and she loves me and between the two of us.. she is really goodlooking.. you are like me so I'll help you. Girls like confidence. I wasn't some crazy steroid taking criminal. I was just a guy who looked rough. I had a determined look in my eye.. I looked at myself in the mirror and said that I'm the sexiest guy alive. Maybe I'm not but I made myself think it. And I slowly got the confidence. Just be yourself around a girl. Change your clothes up. Your hair. Smile when you make a joke. Do some pushups everyday and the charge will make you feel better. Small things like that, be yourself and a girl will fall for you hard. Because while I was insecure, my girlfriend saw me at a party (occupied with thoughts thinking about my insecurities) and she told me she said she wanred to get my attention. Let her feel pretty and she is yours. Girls are 1000000000000x more insecure about a gazillion more things. It is society. Make her feel good and you've got yourself dates over and over again. Just remember confidence. Its what makes you a man
A
male
reader, zedd  +, writes (14 June 2011):
So what? If there are girls in any club, than that club is interesting enough.One way to fight with your insecurities and low self-esteem is starting to believe that you are now a cool guy, and start acting that way. You are not like that yet, but imagine that you are playing the role of the guy who can pick up any girl. You don't have to be confident, just act like that and then it will become your own nature.Approaching girls is not that hard. Okay, here's how I do it, maybe this helps:- Girl I like goes to buy herself a coffee between classes. I say alright, I'll go with you. While we get there, I ask her about the class. "Do you like it so far?" or say something funny. "The lecturer kinda looks like a giant weasel in a hat."(be sure they are not relatives). If you leave the building at the same time, you ask her where she lives. Guess what, you will go that way, even if you have nothing to do there. And start talking about the weather, anything. If she starts talking about ANYTHING, you find that interesting.- A girl needs help with anything in the library/supermarket/car park/anywhere - you offer help. Start talking. "Wow, that's some heavy stuff you have in that package. I didn't know they sell aircraft-carriers here." Ask her if she lives around there, get acquainted, ask her name. These days you don't even need to ask their numbers - most probably, they are on facebook. Find them, write them a message if you're too shy, ask them out on a date that way. If they say no, nothing happened. Go for the next one.- Try dating websites. I haven't tried those yet but I have some friends who had success with them.You really have to decide whether you want to feel sorry for yourself or just go out and find yourself a girl, or two.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni would join a club but there is very few of any interest to me.Also my freinds all are in the same boat as me, none of us have any girls we know and could introduce anyone of us to.Im just unsure of how to start a conversation and get to the stage of getting some form of contact with the girl in future
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A
male
reader, zedd +, writes (10 June 2011):
Just say something funny. Girls like that. I don't look that good either and girls don't really pay attention to me until I tell them some crazy story or something they can laugh at.
They like to be entertained.
Don't you have friends who would introduce you to some girls? Or at least take you to places where you could get closer to some of them?
Wanna join a club, maybe?
I would recommend going to concerts and such places too, girls don't take it as an offense if you start talking to them in places where people get together to feel good (it's harder on the streets, I know).
In a place like that you can approach them saying you need a light, or if you don't smoke, ask for directions, get into a conversation maybe, happened to me a lot of times.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni have been to the barber since, but i dont know how to show i have a nice personality if i cant make a girl interested in me or even talk to me
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2011): if concerned about your face, just take care of your skin, any man looks attractive with great skin. If you have blemishes try using 'pro active' or buy a skin care system to use regularly.As for the hair, is it too thin? Put castor oil on it once a week to thicken it and grow more hair. (Have tried this on my partner and it works).Or if it is the style, just get a good cut.As for height, woman don't care, it's a myth, one of my friends just married a short guy and she is short too.Some tall women get paranoid about being too tall - it's silly the things people worry about. For all you know someone will be so grateful for your company that you have nothing to worry about.One last thing taking care of yourself shows and gives an attractive quality so that's all you need om top of some relaxed conversation!
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionid love a makeover, but im afraid to ask anyone.
Also i should just point out that its my face hairstyle and the fact i am 5ft 3 inches that put girls off
i have a very good body as i am a very keen gymnast so i am in good shape
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2011): First get comfortable in your own skin before you start talking to girls. Accept yourself for who you are! Right nobody is perfect, but we all have something going for us at the end of the day.
Even go to self assertive classes if you must. Take up hobbies and do things you enjoy where you can meet people with a common interests.
There is somebody out there for everybody!!
You just need to accept yourself first.
Tell yourself you are not a bad person.
This may sound stupid, but even right down your good qualities as a person.
Look in the mirror when you get out of bed every morning and tell yourself out loud how handsome and great you are.
Then when you feel good about yourself you will be more confident to talk to girls and it will just happen naturally.
When talking to a girl just remeber in your head all the good things you wrote down about your personality. If you get knocked back just tell yourself it was her loss.
Good Luck.x
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A
female
reader, Fate100percent +, writes (5 June 2011):
Who says you are unattractive? What 'floats' someone's boat might not another? I understand that initial attraction is by 'physical appearance', but hence the word 'initial'! What I mean is, we can all think a guy or girl is hot, then we get to know them and are like 'Omg you are so dull!' lol. You should just take care of yourself, eat well, exercise etc, and join a group/get a hobby (whereby people get to know the real you). I have been out with people that initially I didn't fancy, but have got to know them and their personality and it has all changed. I have also been out with people that I am really physically attracted to (only to be bored to tears!!! lol) Real attractiveness comes from within I think. When it comes down to it, yes looks are an immediate attraction, but if you are looking for a long term relationship, personality wins hands down...I mean who wants to look at a 'pretty person all day that bores the hell out of you'? You need to learn to love you and your good points, or how the hell do you expect anyone else to? ;-)
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2011): Type Mystery method into google.Search for "watch the pick up artist online" That is a reality show about a group of unattractive guys who go into a house together to be taught by Mystery about how to meet girls and how to attract them.They succeed with flying colours and some even succeed with exotic dancers.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2011): Hi there, change needs to happen on the inside first and it sounds like you are aware of that in some way. Just go for it, take some tips from fashion shows like 'Queer eye for the straight guy' or a show you can watch.
Or go to a local modern shop and be honest with the sales person - say look I really need help re-vamping my look can you help me - take a fashionable friend with you if you can.
There are lots of people who would love to help you so just starting looking until you feel confident you can approach the right person. Everyone has amazing qualities that fashion and skin care/grooming can bring out there is no such thing as unactrative once this comes into play.
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A
male
reader, zedd +, writes (4 June 2011):
I won't say that looks don't matter, because it's not true, but if you are a guy, it doesn't count THAT heavily.
Confidence does, so just build up a f¤¤¤ you-approach, do whatever you like to do and be brave: go talk to people and stuff. Think about it this way: you only live once, gotta try the best you can.
The most important confidence-builder is exercise: try going to the gym - I tried that, and even if I didn't look better :), I felt I am more of a man, and was more confident with girls and stuff.
And yeah, you'll need some nice clothes, a pair of new shoes, gotta shave and that's it, you should find someone to ask out, or at lest to talk to.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, Problem.helper +, writes (4 June 2011):
 Go to the gym, take care of your self.
Women like confident men so even tho you would be able to talk to girls you won't attract them either by your apperance or by your personality.
I had the same problem as you have now but I started going to the gym, took care of myself day by day earned more confidence.
You won't be able to talk smoothly to girl and start beliving in yourself in one day.
I can coach you trough this if you want by sending you motivational emails.
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