A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay so i am almost 16 years old with a 19 and a half boyfriend. We have been going out for a year and a half. Last year he enrolled in a college thirty minutes from the town we live in and he lived in a dorm. His parents have insisted on paying his college money so he has never had a job. he took a summer class before and failed it because of jump drive problems. Then he went to this college(and lived in a dorm and everything)for a semester. He totally failed all of his classes not because he was out partying, but staying up all night and playing xbox with his room mate or world of warcraft or *shudders* runescape. He was wanting to be a band director so he had to be in marching band too. He had a lot going for him. Well, he dropped out of that college and started community college last semester. He failed half of his classes again. Now he doesn't know what he's going to do. Even worse, his parents are not going to pay for his college anymore because hes not trying to do well, just play halo. So now, he's living at home and his mom and dad wants him to get a job to pay for college. They have stopped giving him spending money to go out on dates with me.(Which i don't blame them, they should do that.) It just gets me depressed tho because he doesn't try. I also feel like I'm not a good enough reason for him to get a job. its like he doesn't care that we can't go out places on nice little dates. I want appreciation doggonit! He doesn't even do little things for me like give me flowers or ask me out on nice little dates for that matter.. I am usually the one who asks him if he wants to do anything. I mean, he's a really super sweet guy, but he just doesn't do anything out of his way.. And i'm really worried about him not getting a job or not knowing what he's going to do for college. I know i'm only 16 and shouldn't be worrying like this but its hard for me to talk to him about it because i get all choked up whenever i start to tell him... and the worst part is my mom keeps hounding me about how lazy and much of a lousy boyfriend he is :(.... any advice anyone?????????
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2010): Thanks for the advice everyone :D. After i submitted this question yesterday i finally told him that i felt like he didn't care enough... I feel like in the past week (with the help of my dad) we've kinda nudged him into filling out another application.. I mean... At the beginning of the summer he tried to apply at a few places... but he never got accepted anywhere... I also believe its a maturity Problem... One of the reasons im going out with this nineteen yr old man is because he's a little immature and to me he's like my age. So also i believe he's a tad bit clueless too D:
I have thought about asking him if we could stop dating and let him get his act together and I go and date some other guys to see if i can browse anymore fish in the sea. Theres plenty of guys that i would love to go out with.. I mean, its just dating. If him and i still like each other and he's grown up, maybe we could go out together again in five years or so..
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2010): Depression is usually not associated with repeatedly flunking out of classes because of excessive video-game playing.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2010): now, hold on a minute. are you sure he isnt suffering from depression ? you cant say that everyone who doesnt go to college or work is lazy. i know because i suffer from depression, and i am not at college, and dont have a job, although, i did go to college once, and have had some jobs in the past.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (30 July 2010):
Oh dear. You've picked a bit of a lemon. Imagine in ten years time that you're still in this situation. There you are, working hard, while he does nothing. He doesn't do anything for you, doesn't do anything for himself and contributes nothing to anything. I think probably the time has come for you to move on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2010): Yes, he sounds lazy and lousy. He can't muster the effort to get a job to take you out on dates, nor can he manage to pass any classes. He certainly sounds like he's not going anywhere in life. You have to ask yourself if you're willing to put up with that, to pay for everything, and to take care of chores by yourself, should you stick with him for good. You're only 16, so there will be plenty more opportunities for you to find a motivated, goal-oriented boyfriend. Perhaps this one, who can't even take you out on a single date, isn't the right guy for you.
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A
female
reader, cocoqueen88 +, writes (30 July 2010):
 sounds like your bf is lazy and it's probably won't get any better anytime soon. he needs a wake up call and you need a younger guy to be with.
i know it's cool to be with an older guy and you "love" him and all of that but you deserve better. i don't care how sweet he is, if he won't get up off his behind to do something for himself... how do you expect him to do things for you?
and heed my warning... when his parents finally decide to kick him out of the house in a couple of years you'll be the one he'll be clinging on to. and ain't nothin worse then a grown ass man depending on a woman for everything... and being ok with it.
let him go and let him get his stuff together cuz he's not treating you right anyways. and tell him the reason cuz maybe that's the wake up call he needs.
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