A
female
age
30-35,
*ean11
writes:I was getting involved with a man, who I had met one night, later down the track we both had feelings for each other and both knew about it.Seeing he had lost his license, I was making the effort in seeing him and making the time to be there when I was busy.When me and my best friend got invited to a gathering at his house, I could feel flirting going on between him and her.I didn’t want to think it, because I merely presume that he was trying to get along with her because he liked me.Before I knew it .. he had started to develop feelings for my best friend, and told her that he’s never felt this way before about anyone and started inviting her to his family functions and to hangout.We both got introduced to his parents at a gathering, and they didn’t even think that I was the one seeing him, they thought it was my best friend instead. I found out about this, and the messages because my best friend told me and showed me and im soo devastated! He never thought of even telling me, he found out that I knew and he hasn’t even tried to contact me to say sorry for what happened ?Me and the bestfriend deleted him of our networking pages, but she still has his number.Im glad I have a best friend who is there for me, but im so upset at him playing the both of us thinking we didn’t no and thinking he could get away with it!And inviting her to family functions behind my back without acknowledging me.He knew I liked him during the whole process of events and lead me on something shocking, and to think I slept with him twice makes me sick at my feet. I seem as if I want to ring him up and get angry at him for the time I wasted on a liar and backstabber like him, but I don’t know whether I should or not or what to say or do and I need help ?I feel as if my guts have been ripped out, and that I wasn’t good enough good for his parents because im not loud and childish like my bestfriend is. I feel as if I never want to get close to a man again because I always get burnt.Please help me ? Any feedback would be great! thankyouuuu
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2011): wait a second... when you introduced your then bf to your best friend did she know that you were going out with him? you did not make this part clear and if that was the case then you need to ditch this friend because she has been betraying you behind your back. Secondly, dont feel bad about him being more attracted to your friend. you mention that she is more childish, maybe that just suited him best because it makes him feel more adequate as a man. sometimes men who feel insecure about themselves work better with more childish and dependent partners, not only does it give them more control but it also makes them feel more worthy as individuals. i understand how hurt you must feel but you werent seeing this guy long enough for you to really have developed an emotional relationship.
you were only starting to get to know him and maybe he realised that you guys just did not romantically matched on a psychological level. just because this man may have cheated on you in this way doesnt mean you should try to give up on romance; eventually you will find someone who clicks with you well.
it sounds suspicious that your friends still keeps his phone number, it makes me feel as if she is going to try to contact him behind your back. if that is the case you should end it with her,especially if she knew he was your bf during that time she was seeing him. not only is it disrespectful and treacherous but it will also affect you negatively on the long run to be associated with her.
sorry if i may have misunderstood your story.i just find it werid that your best friend didnt know that you were seeing him when you had introduced him to her during his party.
also dont worry, you will eventually get over the pain cause the guy is simply not worth ur time. he sounds like a man child.
you prob have a lot to offer and in the future a much better suited guy will notice this :)
A
female
reader, Godchild  +, writes (3 January 2011):
Don't let this man, or relationship define you. Your best friend seems a little bit backstabbing too. He was wrong for leading you on and playing you for your best friend. Don't give him the satisfaction of even letting him know he got you upset. Pick yourself back up, and brush your shoulders. Don't waste anymore time on him.
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