A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:I need help, two of my best friends who are guys revealed to me on the same day that they fancied me and both asked me out and I had no idea what to do and somehow, by me not saying to them that I did fancy them, they've managed to get it in their head that I do. I don't have the heart to tell them I don't fancy them because I did that with another guy and now he hates me when we used to be best friends... I don't want to lose them as friends so I told them my family has issues with me dating but I hate lying to them. My friends have all told me to go for the better one but neither of them are my type, for example one is really boring and frigid and the other talks about doing intimate things too often and both of them scare me. I really need advice I hate how I'm lying to them....
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (21 April 2013):
Stop lying. Ultimately it’s not fair to them and mostly it’s not fair to you. Tell both of them that you value their friendship, try and say something nice about them such as a quality they have. But explain that you aren’t attracted to them and you would like to remain friends. That’s the only kind thing you can do. If some-one hates you because you did that, then it only goes to show how wise your judgement was. They might get upset, but rejection is something people unfortunately have to learn to live with. You can’t mess up your life and make yourself unhappy because you’re trying to protect others from something that might be upsetting to them but which they’ll come to terms with.
If you don’t want either of them, don’t choose either, just kindly tell them both no.
I wish you all the very best.
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