A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:*OP's own title*I really like these two men: Mateo and Ed (fake names of course). And I just don't know what to do, who to choose, etc.Ed is a sweet guy, 20 yrs older, good-looking, and extremely kind to me. We joke around constantly, tease each other, and yet, sometimes I feel no real connection with him. I care about SO much and if I could, I think I'd give him the world. But, I never know how he really feels about him. And I get scared too that I'll lose him since I know that his mother likes me but, doesn't really want me for her son...I hate it that he can be so stoic with me. If we're in a room full of people together, not once does he even glance at me. On the phone, he sounds so uninterested at times, I wonder why he's with me...He's asked me twice if I loved him and both times, I've said yes...Today though, found pictures of other women of on his comp, nothing serious but still...I just came back from seeing him in his state and some of the time there, I just missed my home and family and felt like leaving. I feel insecure around him, he's an ex-football star, BMOC, and still pretty damn good-looking...I think sometimes, he's not so attracted to me or something...Still, I love his gentle heart, the cute little things he does, and his powerful determination...He's really amazing.Mateo drives me insane. He's a gentleman with an extreme bad boy side. Fourteen years older...I love his voice, his kiss, his hand holding mine...We can drive around all day just talking, listening to music, and laughing, he tickles me all the time and calls me the sweetest things in his beautiful accent. The only problem is that he's extremely lustful at times and can't really comprehend why I won't give him my virginity...Everything with him is spontaneous and when we're on the beach (somewhere we go often) I feel this huge tenderness for him- we meet eyes and we both smile or laugh. It's funny because we don't know all that much about each other...we're both mysterious and yet open. He makes me feel so damn beautiful...He's afraid of relationships though, afraid of marriage-two things I want eventually. Needless to say, I know these guys being older can and will be an issue-I don't have "daddy issues" lol But please, can someone tell me what to do? How to handle my feelings?
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (30 March 2010):
If you can't pick, it means neither man is right for you. so move on from them both and continue to focus on yourself.
A
male
reader, OrangeJuice  +, writes (30 March 2010):
 This is a very tricky situation, especially because they are both much older than you are, you should try to be true to yourself and find out who you really could see yourself with in the long run, and maybe that will help you make a decision, taking it farther with these two guys could really end up hurting one of them, when or if you decide the other. Another possibility is that you maybe try to find someone completely new, and maybe closer to your own age especially because you may be able to connect with someone your own age better and they may take you more seriously than these two do.
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A
male
reader, 2old4this +, writes (30 March 2010):
 First off, it's natural for women your age to be attracted to much older men sometimes because of the authority they have or just the ability to take care of them. Perhaps even just the fact that they are much more mature acting than those closer in age. At any rate niether of these men sound right for you. The first man I believe is too ashamed of your age difference and is just not willing to be serious with you. The second gentleman sounds as if he is exactly what you said, a bad boy. He is not interested in a future with you because he stated as much. He is having fun with you which is ok if that is what you want. But since you want more I say find someone else. Try meeting someone around 28 to 30. Thats when most men, (at least in my case) tend to be ready for more out of a relationship and also would not be ashamed of the age difference because there wouldn't be much of one.
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