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Two days after I posted our pictures on Facebook he deleted his account

Tagged as: Age differences, Big Questions, Family, Forbidden love, Long distance, Love stories, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 September 2012) 4 Answers - (Newest, 8 September 2012)
A female Philippines age 51-59, *uy writes:

my boyfriend and i started our relationship july17 of 2011. I was working as a nurse in a hospital in Sudan and he was a student of aeronautic engineer in a university in the same place he was still in his 4th year and now he is on his final year.

He is a Sudanese and a Muslim a conservative type and am a christian.their tradition in Sudan does not allow any Muslim to be having a girl friend and boyfriend relationship. If the man wants a girl he will immediately go to the parents of the girl and ask for marriage.

Since i cant accept it that way we hid our relationship from his relatives but they have come to know it anyway and of course they are all against it, because of our age gap am 39 and he is 22 , although i did not meet his parents and brothers and sister personally because they are all in UAE but nothing stopped us.

Since January I left Sudan I am now in Philippines and we had been almost 24/7 at ym and he calls almost 10x a day till now what bothers me is that when i posted our sweet pictures on Facebook 2 days after I posted the sweet pictures he said that he had just deleted his account because he would not like our relationship to be destroyed just because of this socialization accounts.

I don't want to doubt him but it had somehow left me a big question why did he delete his account after i posted our sweet pictures together? Should I be doubting him?

View related questions: christian, facebook, muslim, university

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (8 September 2012):

Honeypie agony auntI have to ask WHY would your relationship be destroyed due to a Facebook account?

I mean YOU "could" keep all pictures private so ONLY friends can see them, which means HIS family can't (unless they are friends of yours on Facebook and it doesn't sound like they are...)

I think you are goo enough to have a "relationship" with as long as no one knows... THAT is NOT a very good foundations.

How do you see your future? You having to "hide" from his family? Him having to give UP his family to be with you?

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A female reader, oldbag United Kingdom +, writes (8 September 2012):

oldbag agony auntHi

He doesn't want the relationship made public, his family are already against you and him together but he has continued to see you and communicate~in secret.By putting the photos up you made it obvious your seeing him.

He HAS to make a choice, you, or his culture and family,you can't wait for him forever.

Has he spoken of a future, a realistic one,together? Time to talk seriously with him.

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A female reader, AuntyEm United Kingdom +, writes (8 September 2012):

AuntyEm agony auntProbably doesn't want his family to see him and you together in pictures. His culture is different to yours,maybe he thinks the pictures will upset relations with his family.

He is very young, probably panicked slightly.Posting pictures kinda makes it real and maybe he needs more time to figure out if he can make a future with you.

You probably need to talk to him to see why he reacted the way he did.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2012):

You just answered your question earlier. While you know he will get in trouble why should you post your picture on FB? He should choose between having a girlfriend or respect his culture which he wants to have both by hiding the relationship with you. You have the option to accept it this way or leave him, so if you can’t accept it this way instead of posting your picture just end the relationship.

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