A
female
age
30-35,
*sd123
writes:HELP!!!!! I'm 20 and never had a boyfriend. Long story short I have been asked out once before but I turned him down. Now a year and half later I feel regretful. I try to act like being single and for this long doesn't bother me but it does. I feel so abnormal, this isn't how most people live their lives. I know it doesn't matter what other people think or at least it shouldn't but I'm tired of always being all by my self. I know in the past I was really shy and that's a main part of what held me back. But now that I'm out of my shell and ready for a relationship it doesn't seem like I can find one. Most of the guys who show interest in me never seems to work out. We never seem to be on the same page and whatever conection we first had seems to fizzle and fade. What am I doing wrong? How and when am I going to meet the right person? And was I wrong for turning the guy down?
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never had a boyfriend, shy Reply to this Question
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female
reader, asd123 +, writes (9 June 2012):
asd123 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you everyone for all your responses, they really helped to give me some perspective on this issue.
A
male
reader, downonmyluck +, writes (4 June 2012):
hi, I might add one thing here that I read about several years ago.When you think about this it does make a lot of sense. You would normally think(atleast from a guys perspective) that a lot of the good looking girls would normally be asked out a lot...not necessarily & I'll explain why not.Sometimes they don't get asked out on a date simply because the guy has the idea that "she" is so beautiful,etc. that "he" can't possibly get a date with "this" girl.So for fear of being rejected by "her", he doesn't bother to actually ask her out. Hope this helps!
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (4 June 2012):
 And by the way, you may have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince. But at 20-years-old, you are just a sapling with many years to grow. Just be careful out there.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (4 June 2012):
Female responder "YouWish" makes excellent suggestions, but as a man, I might add that, when you do have some interest in a man, give him a bit more that a smile. If you know that he is unattached, pat him on the hand - tell him you like him. Good men are also often a bit shy, but being a little forward on your part is ok. And if he asks you out, then GO for goodness sake! Give it a chance.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (4 June 2012):
 Hold on...hold on here! I'm the monkey wrench in your whole self-induced shame spiral. :)
You're beautiful, and your lack of experience is a huge turn-ON to many men out there. Turning down a guy is never wrong if you weren't feeling a connection.
You're 20...at the jumping point for the start of your life. You're looking at a major in college. The soil that is your intellect can't be more fertile. You're totally normal and OKAY!
Shy is totally okay, as long as you don't subscribe to the "prince sweeping you off your feet" scenario. Let's put it this way...if you were in the market for a new car, it would be implausible to sit at home and wait for a random stranger to drive the perfect car into your driveway. Yet, so many women have that view about men, that the right man will just simply appear in their lives.
The truth is, it's one part making yourself available and the other part getting the word out that you're on the market. People adore matchmaking if their loved one is game.
Oh, if they made an Amulet of Mara for real life. heh.
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