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Turns out my FWB was married and lying to me! He doesn't know I know. What now?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Friends with Benefits, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 May 2012) 6 Answers - (Newest, 16 May 2012)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Hi everyone I have just founf out my fwb is married with children and now I feel so guilty I have ended this with him but still see him every day as we live in the same place I know what fwbs all about but I had fallen in love with him and now I feel so used and hurt how do I deal with this I have been told this by two people that both know him that he doesn't know I know too what should I do thank you

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (16 May 2012):

Honeypie agony auntI would cut the contact cold turkey.

You may think you love this guy, but do you really know him? Or then in the carnal sense? Obviously he is a good liar. I'm sure he is lying to his wife too. I don't think he is worthy of your love. After all he IS just using YOU for sex and he will say what ever he thinks you want to hear to get it. Does that sound like a nice guy? A guy you could ever see yourself with? If the answer is still yes, then consider this, YOU may not be the only "fwb" he has/had. Still like him?

I suggest you try and date a guy instead of the whole FWB thing. Obviously you want someone to love and love you back, FWB has nothing to do with love.

I'm sorry, he sounds like a loser. Cheating loser.

Good luck and chin up. Take from this experience and learn from it.

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A female reader, Read-the-signs United Kingdom +, writes (16 May 2012):

Next time he gets in touch with you tell him you know that he is a liar and an arse. Tell him he should be ashamed for using you for sex under false pretences. Don't take any more shit from him and don't have any more sex with him, no matter what kind of sorry sob story he comes out with.

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A female reader, oldbag United Kingdom +, writes (16 May 2012):

oldbag agony auntHi

He must be very good at covering his tracks if you see him every day,live in the same area,but you've only just found out he is married with kids. You do not DO anything, he is the one who has lied to you, you were innocent and fell in love. His family is innocent too.

Keep away and keep quiet about your old FWB situation.Its good you finished it so now forget him and his sordid life. If he contacts you just tell him to go home to his wife and leave it at that.

You just worry about you and your future you have learnt a hard lesson.There are good men out there.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2012):

you did nothing wrong, it's entirely his fault. He's the one who's married with kids so it's his responsibility. And he lied to you and misled you into thinking he was single. he lied to you, and he lied to his wife too.

the guy you fell in love with doesn't exist, now you have the real view of what he really is.

just break it off with him, tell him what you found out, and don't accept any excuses or reasons.

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A female reader, sharpes United Kingdom +, writes (16 May 2012):

sharpes agony auntBy sounds of it the fwb wanted his cake and to eat it. You shouldn't feel bad,he is in the wrong for not telling you he was married,whose to say that he didn't lead you on also. Best thing to do is rise above it and think at least u know now before you got more involved. Your worth a million of this person. Have fun with friends,forget fwb and just enjoy spending time finding urself and doing other things in life and when times right you'll meet the person who wants you for ever and not just a fwb. In time you will say I'm right.

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (16 May 2012):

janniepeg agony auntI would simply stop talking to him, block him. You are not in a position to lecture him about karma and how to be a good man. To deal with a guilt simply do some good deeds like volunteering.

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