A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I recently got a car and am now able to get around town a lot easier and do things my own way for once in my life. Well, I've been single for just under four months now after a two-year relationship that wasn't very good for my mental stability but I've been getting better with all that.Most of my friends are taken (some of them have been with their significant others for over a year and a half now) and they have their own lives to live and I fully understand all that because I used to be that way myself. Minus the having a life part, that is. In fact, for two years, my entire existence revolved around my ex and I had nothing going for me whereas he had something going for him.He made it a mission in his life to make me feel miserable about everything that was wrong with myself, his relationship with his parents and his friends, his reputation, my family, and us. Needless to say, he was an emotional abuser with the occasional bouts of physical abuse.Anyways, right now, it's just me being a little untrustworthy of guys, single and lonely. I've been trying to keep myself occupied with school and my writing (I'm currently working on a novel), but I can't help but wonder, "Was my ex right when he said nobody would ever want me?"I have a thing for this one guy in a class of mine at my community college and I've tried getting in good with him, but he freaked out because I guess I came on a little too strongly at first. Now I'm forcing myself to calm down because I really do like this guy and I want to be with him, but that doesn't seem to be working as quickly as I want it to.I figure maybe it won't work out anyway because he's going to university in the Fall (he's a year older than me) and I won't go to university until Fall of next year. But I'm wondering if this is going to be the case with every guy I start to fall for? I show an interest and then they just leave. Is there something wrong with me or am I just being a typical, single 19 year old?Help would be great! Thanks!
View related questions:
emotionally abusive, my ex, university Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThat's kind of depressing when you think about it, lol. But I'm not going to let it phase me all that much; I just wish the guy would look at me more. Hell, I wish ANY guy would look at me some more. Now, I would definitely like a relationship with this guy, but if I can manage a hook-up, I'll be fine. That makes me sound desperate and easy (which I'm definitely NOT), but it's been a little while since I've done anything with a guy and it gets annoying. And lonely. But thanks for your input. It's appreciated. =]
A
male
reader, Johnnyboy03 +, writes (20 March 2009):
 Four months isn't that long to be single. You will meet someone else. As for this current guy, just move on. First impressions matter. You don't get over them. Just like if your first impression of the guy was clingy/unstable or whatever you wouldn't just get over that.
Just try to not come on too strong. That scares away both guys and girls. I'm sure you are aware of that, which is why you made this post, but the only advice I can give is to try to meet someone else. You won't change his opinion at this point.
That doesn't mean you can't still be friends. Goodluck! and there is nothing wrong with you. :p You are just not used to being single. Remember that a relationship isn't two halves of a whole. You don't need someone to make you complete. Have some confidence in yourself.
...............................
|
