A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Okay there is this woman I care for, I have know here for eleven or twelve years, since we was kids. Now she is grown up and has one child, and getting ready to have another. She has told me that the relationship she is now is over but she cannot afford to live on her own. Of, course we talked more into detail about her situation , but here is my situation, I like her and don"t want to see her hurt, but we have tried dating before when we was just teens and it did not work out. Should we try again?Or just not go there? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI know that whatever I do or say may or may not change things, but I don't wont to lose her as a friend if anything should be said at all, is where im still at. I haven't even told her, how I fell in anyway.
A
male
reader, nichiren +, writes (26 February 2009):
 Either she wants the fianacial support or she is actually interested.If you are interested in dating her do not move her in with you. That would help you determine whether she is romantically interested in her or not.If you actually want to help with her living situation then let her move in but do not date her.Just help her and be there as a friend and leave it at that.You can move her in and date her. My jaded nature tells me that way may not be the most practical choice for you.She has a child and one on the way.. Have you asked why she cannot afford to live alone? Or does she have family she can stay with? Why the second child's father and her broke while she is pregnant?Get all the information you can before making your decision.Life is too short to take on uneeded responsibility and sacrifice more than we have to even for love and friendship.
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A
female
reader, wonderingcat  +, writes (26 February 2009):
 Question is, do you like her enough as a friend, to be able to withstand a potential "rejection" by her as a lover? If your answer is "yes", then you are indeed the best friend that she may need right now.
If you could afford to help her with her current living conditions right now, it would commendable that you did that. You would actually be helping 3 individuals (her and her children).
How she felt toward you as a teenager may not be the same as an adult. And who knows, she may just fall in love with you this time seeing how good you are to her and her children. Sparks may not fly all over the place immediately yet, but who knows, it could happen once her hormones are stabilized again though (up to a year after the baby is born?).
I am sure it is not easy for a grown woman to ask for help like this. You must have been always in heart as a good friend that she was comfortable enough to confide in you.
However, in the event that she still sees you as a friend only and not a potential lover, and you do not mind that because you value her friendship most of all, I'd say - go and help her and be with her now. That is, if she is also open to your helping her. Just don't push her into imposing your help if she did not want it.
Good luck!
Cat
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (26 February 2009):
Well you could try DATING but I think you would be tempted to move her in with you, take on the 2 kids and jump in with both feet.
I think if you try to date her and take things really slowly then there is no reason this couldn't work, but if you rush into it then the pressure could drive you apart, and then she'd be stuck living with you until a better offer came along.
Good Luck!! xx
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