A
female
age
26-29,
*eenageDreamgirl
writes:Hi everyone. Alright, so a few days ago, one of my good friends (A) broke up with her boyfriend of almost a month. A ended it, simply because she didn't want to be in a relationship anymore. I'd liked him before they started going out, but I forced myself to stop liking him when they started going out (for my A's sake). The thing is, now that he's single, he's treating me how it was before him and A started going out, which was flirtatious. He's even stepped it up since then. A few of my other friends who knew that I liked him told me that I couldn't like him, and that I couldn't go out with him, it would be breaking the girl code and it'd be horrible to A. I'm still not exactly sure of my feelings, but I know that I'll never ever be a rebound just because I don't like that way of dating, so if this guy did ask me out, I would only go out with him if it was 3+ weeks after he broke up with A. I harboured a little resentment for both of them when they were going out, but now that he and A broke up that resentment has vanished. But, I'd like some more opinions on this issue. How can I tell A that I have some feelings for this guy without seeming like a jerk, or how can I tell her at all? Every time I think about it, I feel really guilty and wimp out of telling her. Am I ever going to be allowed to date him...?
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2012): That's great, I'm glad it has worked out for you.
A
female
reader, TeenageDreamgirl +, writes (7 January 2012):
TeenageDreamgirl is verified as being by the original poster of the question Hi everyone, I talked to my friend about this and to be honest, she was cool with it. She doesn't have feelings for him anymore and she said that she could care less if I went out with him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2012): You sound like you have decided to date him anyway. You have given yourself a time limit of 3 weeks, honestly it should be more 3 months as 3 weeks is still a rebound in my opinion. I don't know anyone who would be cool with a friend going out with their ex to be honest, so in the end you may have to decide what is more important a guy or a good friend. Talk to your friend first and see what she says, maybe she will be ok with it, if not then you can decide what you want to do.
You said: A few of my other friends who knew that I liked him told me that I couldn't like him, and that I couldn't go out with him, it would be breaking the girl code and it'd be horrible to A. Though other people's opinions shouldn;t matter in this kind of thing, the fact is that when your at school it can make life a little difficult, and your friends may not trust you for breaking the code they talk about. In the end it's your decision, but I would think carefully first before making that decision. Good Luck.
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A
female
reader, CollegeCutie  +, writes (6 January 2012):
 IT really seems like you have already made up your mind on what you should do as you gave yourself a time span in which you can not date him 3+weeks. try more like 3 months. Y do you have to date him right away? if you guys are actually likeing each other then waiting longer shouldnt be a problem and then you can learn more. BUt you should really ask your friend about it yeah she broke up with him but a lot of people arent cool with their friends dating their exs its just a strange situation. Ive been in the situation where i went out with a friends ex and trust me knowing that youve kissed the same guy or done certain things with him does not make you closer friends. FINAL LINE OF ADVICE: talk to your friend and ask her about the situation just be like (boy) and i have been hanging out a lot and im not sure whats going to happen as i am starting to develop feelings for him possibly would that bother you if anything happened between us? if she says yes leave it if she says no WAIT. for like a week or two and make sure things are still cool between you guys then make the next move. thats how i would play the situation.
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