A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I was just responding to a question about friendship and I couldn't help but think of my own friends and how I've grown apart from them but I'm glad of it. I haven't really talked to anyone about how or why it is so this is kinda pretty long although I did cut loads out! I don't expect it to be of particularly high interest to anyone...I just needed to say it, or write it down anyway.I've known my 'best friend' pretty much all my life, and her sister, as our parents are friends. We've grown apart before due to various reasons; not through falling out, and we've always become close again.Six or seven months ago I met a great guy after being single for a year and a half, which was the longest time I've been single for since I first had a boyfriend. I got on with him so well from the off and my family all liked him when they met him; even my brothers who always hate my boyfriends.My friend didn't like him at all. She made this clear by making snide comments. When he met my other friends he was drunk, which didn't help, but she was there making more comments and bitching about him to everyone. He didn't make the best impression but the way my 'friends' acted towards him was not fair as he was incredibly nervous and he was trying despite his drunkness and I was more embarassed to be associated with them than I was by him.As time went on my 'best friend' constantly made comments about how I never saw her anymore; true I spent more time with my boyfriend and less time with her but the more she went on about it the more it made me wonder if she was truly a friend if she made me feel bad about seeing my boyfriend.When my 21st came around, I wanted to throw a big party with lots of family and friends. My birthday party was the day before my birthday and on my birthday, I spent the day with my boyfriend and he took me for a meal in the evening. A couple of hours before we went out I got a text from my friend. She and her boyfriend had split up again and she wanted me to go over to her house and stay over because she was lonely. I said I couldn't and reminded her that it was my birthday and that I was going for a birthday meal; it's not like I hadn't told her before so I was pretty annoyed at her and got quite angry.It may sound a bit harsh but she had done this so many times before and I had given up plans with my boyfriend to go round and listen to her complain about her problems (which more often than not were self-inflicted but she always blamed other people for being 'selfish'). I wouldn't have minded but she never once listened to my problems as much as I did hers and she always trivialised all my problems telling me that I was lucky I didn't have the same problems as her.Over the last few months I have virtually lost contact with her and, as a result my other friends. They will all see it as my boyfriend taking me away from them but it isn't that at all. The fact is that being with my boyfriend has made me a lot more confident and he has made me feel so good about myself that I have realised how my 'friends' were dragging me down and their reaction to me having a boyfriend and actually being happy only confirmed this. They have pushed me away by how they acted towards me and my boyfriend, just like they push away their own happiness but, sadly, I know they won't ever realise it.
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female
reader, EvieA  +, writes (21 October 2008):
 There is no such thing as a true friend
NO ONE is " TRUE"
In life, your bestfriends are your parents.
unless there mean lol
A
female
reader, yukiakashi  +, writes (8 October 2008):
 Nice article.
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