A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I hope I will not be judged for asking this question as I made a mistake in trying to get even on my cheating boyfriend- something I will never do again!!!!I am pregnant, my last period was on the 1st of January and I discovered my pregnancy on the 14th of February. My partner and I were having regular sex all through January but I discovered him cheating on me and slept with an ex on the 2nd or the 7th of February I can not remember which one of these dates it was exactly but deffinately one out of the two..I am worried about who the Father is... My due date is on the 8th of October.Can anyone help me to figure out this mess I've made?I would be very greatful. Thank you.
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male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (26 April 2010):
 Mod note: Sorry we can post your reply since we can't have a debate on this page. Any objections would have to be done in private. I will apologize for the immature statement but the aunt was just trying to bring all the other issues with the child on to the table. Again, we are sorry if this has offended you.
Best wishes to you and your child.
A
female
reader, Princess D.  +, writes (26 April 2010):
 She last saw her period on January and discovered her pregnancy on February. So February made her a month because the doctors count from the day of the last time u had your period. So if u count October is 9 months. Of coarse the baby might come a week before the 8th or a week after. Miss anonymous, u have to think long and hard about whether you're going to keep the baby or whateva. Keep me posted.
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A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (25 April 2010):
 October would be 8 months, from the February sleeping with ex date. These dates are only estimates, and have been known to be off.
You understand, although your partner was cheating, by you cheating as well or (getting even, as you put it) you lowered yourself to being a cheater as well. You tell him you know he's cheating, and tell him to get even you did the same, then you are in a place where you can separate ways, or forgive and remain together. It is true that truth and trust are foundational to any successful relationship. You cannot have infidelity and expect your relationship to be solid.
You both made mistakes, and it is up to you to be honest and own up to each other regarding your mistakes. And remember, no such thing as revenge in cheating. If he cheats, he is then a cheater, if you cheat, you are then a cheater, because the act of is what it is defined by.
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A
female
reader, It's all be okay +, writes (25 April 2010):
Are you sure that you want a child? It certainly doesn't sound as if the child was planned. You don't trust your boyfriend who was not faithful to you and you were not faithful to him, so presumably you would not be bringing the child into a long-term stable relationship. You are also quite young and having children is expensive and difficult at a time when you might be trying to work on your career. Also, the way that you reacted to your cheating partner was hardly mature - are you sure that you have the maturity to provide a strong moral role model to a child? You are affecting someone else's life for ever if you bring up your child bedly because you are still little more than a child yourself. I would think very quickly about whether it might be better allround to have an abortion. If you have problems with that on an ethical basis, you could also think about giving up the child for adoption. As for who the father is, it rather depends upon your situation. If you and your boyfriend intend to settle down together and bring up the child, then you might decide to hush it up and say it's his, and stick to that story for ever. You won't be the first and you certainly won't be the last to do this. If you expect to be a single mum, then you can just do the DNA test when the child is born. And for the future, could you perhaps think about contraception? Perhaps you could go on the pill or get a coil. And remember that having sex without a condom also brings risks of sexually transmitted diseases which can be very serious - your partner slept with someone else as well as you and you also slept with someone else - and those "someone elses" also probably slept with someone else. Did no one teach you about using condoms at school?
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