A
male
age
41-50,
*w1974
writes:Right guys, this will be long, been seeing a girl now for 6 weeks or so, everything was going great. We really clicked, loads in common, she kept saying we should go here and do this go here and do that, which i was cool with.I did the same and said do you fancy doing this and she said yeh, she was very affectionate, but the physical side of things was a bit slow due to her not wanting to come across as easy, which i respected her for. We have been out several times, each time was great, she even spent time at my house chilling out dvd's etc, and said she is struggling to hold back with me, because she fancies me. I told her the same and that i really like her. she did cancel a date once but asked to reschedule in which we did, and she asked about going the cinema to watch avatar in 3d if its still on.she also said when i was on about changing my appearance not to because she likes it. she even mentioned that her family have been asking about me. So we go watching avatar, on the way she says about it being on and that she thought i was going to say its on miles away and we can go and stay over for the weekend, and that she wouldnt do that just to watch a film. I just laughed it off,she did seem to want to get home pretty quickly after the film and did pull away but said it was due to it being 1am, also she has said about doing stuff after the stag do im going on in a week or two. So i text her yesterday about meeting up for something to eat if shes free, and she exts back today saying that she feels that it isnt working out between us, and that she hopes i understand. Now this has totally confused me, she has gone from being all affectionate and wanting to do stuff together to ending it in the space of 48hrs.any ideas?
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male
reader, softtouchmale2003  +, writes (25 April 2010):
 The human heart is fickle to be sure.
Your lady friend does not know what she wants in her life. And though she likes being around you, and probably saw potential in you, she's too scared to go forward right now.
This could be due to a number of factors. She could be shy. She could still not be over a former relationship. She could be afraid of sex or been sexually or physically abused in the past. Perhaps she was emotionally abused. Who knows?
If you want to get down to the root of the problem, just call her and ask her if you'd done anything to make her feel uncomfortable and that you thought it odd that within 2 days, she'd gone from wanting to be with you, to running far away from you.
Its so hard to say. Women see things then they don't; or they see things and they really aren't what they thought they saw. Some women are full of self-deception and wish for things they really don't want; and some wish for things they want, get them; and then realize its not what they wanted to begin with.
I will make a strong suggestion to you. Find a woman who's feet are firmly grounded. A woman who knows what she seeks out in a man, and if you have the qualities she's looking for, just pay attention to her needs. Trust me, that's the woman you want.
A
male
reader, jw1974 +, writes (25 April 2010):
jw1974 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the answers guys, didnt really get carried away though, just enjoyed going out with her. And she was asking me to go do stuff all the time, just strange how she changed within 48hrs. She was really all over me a times.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (25 April 2010):
 This is just a guess without any evidence to support it, of course. But I suspect she might have been keeping her options open. Like seeing somebody else ,or pursuing somebody else, during the weeks she was going out with you- and then she has, so to speak, closed the deal with the other person.
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A
female
reader, It's all be okay +, writes (25 April 2010):
My idea is that she went on various dates with you and likes you and probably wanted to "really" like you (ie as a boyfriend) but for whatever reason, she realised that she just didn't feel that way. People quite often find it hard to explain to someone that they don't feel that way, because that is bad news, and people don't like giving or receiving bad news. So it's easiest just to send a text like that. I think you'll have to text back and say "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, of course I understand, and I hope that we might still be friends". And leave it at that. I would warn against asking her why - as she probably doesn't want to say, or maybe can't articulate why - and you probably won't learn much from hearing it anyway. And move on!
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A
female
reader, Polaroid93 +, writes (25 April 2010):
It sounds like you got carried away and then it was doused for her, sadly the feeling isn't mutual... :( you have a right to know why
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