A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been with this girl for over a year. She loves me like no one has ever loved me before. She wants children with me and wants a life with me.We've travelled together and we get along great - we have fun together. She can make me laugh, I can make her laugh. She accepts me with all my shortcomings. Her parents, friends and family really like me, too.It so happens that I just don't "feel it" for her.Sometimes I look at her and I just don't feel attracted. And this is happening more and more often. I'm not sure if I've ever been in love with her, or at least felt the same I did for other girls in the past. I haven't even felt proud enough to present her to my family and friends.It's like I drifted into a relationship with her trying to convince myself that either I'd fall in love or she would just get bored and leave me, but neither happened.And now I'm hurting her with my mixed signals and I don't know what to do. I do care for her A LOT, we share great memories together. I also feel that if I leave her I will make a mistake and no one will ever love me like her again, specially since I honestly don't consider myself very attractive and that I will be lonely as hell.This situation sucks.I'm 24 and she's 23.PS: I know I'm an idiot and an ass-hole. I'm just really confused right now.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (17 February 2016):
 You cannot stay with her just because you are scared nobody else will have you. This is not fair on her, and its not fair on you either if you don't truly love her.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2016): If you aren't feeling you aren't feeling it. Don't feel bad for how you feel just do the right thing and let your gf find someone else who will truely be excited and enthralled by her. Staying with her out of company /not wanting to be single is totally unfair to her,it's denying her the choice to find someone else.Yes you might be alone a while but it is a risk worth taking if you ask me. How could you spend the rest of your life with someone feeling no enthusiasm attraction or excitement in your relationship? There is a whole world of people out there
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A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (17 February 2016):
 I don't think you are an idiot or an ahole, I think you are confused and you don't want to hurt the girl. Bottom line though is that you cannot help what you feel or don't feel for someone. If the attraction isn't there, it just isn't there. You can't force it! You can genuninely care about someone and even love them but its the love as a friend, or of a companion.
I had a man once tell me that I was the sweetest girl he had ever met, and I was so giving and kind and yet he just didn't "feel it" for me. It really stung and I felt embarrassed but after I got over the hurt, I realized I didn't want a man like that. I wanted someone who truly loved me in all ways. I went on to find my husband who really loves me and I him. What if that man would have just stayed in the relationship with me? I would have never found my husband!
Do yourself and the lady a favor...end things. It isn't fair to either of you to keep dating. Be gentle as possible but set her free. Yes, you will be alone and maybe you won't find someone like her..but maybe you'll find someone that clicks all the boxes. You'll never know if stay with someone that you don't really love, now will you? Life is about chances and sometimes you just have to take a deep breath and take that chance.
A relationship where you aren't really into someone isn't going to be very happy and it may get to the point where if you stay with this girl that you start getting annoyed. Please don't do that. Set her and yourself free....
I wish you all the best.
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