A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating my boyfriend for close to 3 years. (Me-26, Him-29) The problem is his best friend, who happens to be female. Over the years, she's lived with my boyfriend off and on as she's trying to get on her feet. She has a son from a previous relationship and through the years, my boyfriend has become a father figure for him and helped with parenting. This isn't an issue to me and I'm happy to see that he's stepped into this role. The problem is that his best friend is now pregnant and she has insinuated that she intends to live with my boyfriend through her pregnancy and after she has the child. She broke up with the father of her child and has been living with my boyfriend, which has put him in an awkward place. She's already asked my boyfriend to take her to a doctor's appointment. They are best friends and I know that my boyfriend wants to do anything to help her out but this is going too far. I feel that she is a constant interruption and our relationship hasn't been able to progress because of her instability. I've talked to my boyfriend about this but there really is no easy solution. Tossing a pregnant woman and her son on the street just isn't an option. This has created a lot of tension in our own relationship. I love him and we had talked about marriage and starting a family of our own - obviously that can't happen while his friend and her child are living with us. A part of me is telling me that it's time to break-up. Has anyone else gone through this situation? I don't know what to do.
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (11 April 2011):
 This sounds like baby mama drama, only your boyfriend didn't father anyone of these kids.
It's not up to YOUR boyfriend to step in and assume the fatherly role. Who owns the house/apartment? Does she have a job, is she contributing anything to rent, living expenses?
The actual fathers aren't good enough or maybe don't want any part of the child's life. She drifts to and from guys to anyone who will take her, then irresponsibly falls pregnant, but she comes back to your boyfriend. Not only is he her best friend, but he's reliable and offers stability. She is abusing this friendship, and he's blind for not seeing through her.
Unfortunately, there's no kicking out a pregnant woman..especially if she is contributing towards the household, more importantly your boyfriend probably won't have it.
It doesn't look like she's leaving anytime soon, even after the baby is born. I would question why she can't move back home with her parents, surely they would like to see and help out with their grandchildren.
I would say it's time to break up. You're in a relationship with him, not him and her. But at the moment that's how it is, and how much longer can you live like that?
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (11 April 2011):
 Doesn't she have any family you can palm her off on? Tell your boyfriend it's time to piss or get off the pot. It is up to him to clear the moocher out. If he doesn't start working on it then I'd walk if I were you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2011): I agree with Thomas. She goes out and lives her life and expects your boyfriend to clean up her mess. Clearly she is mooching off him in an effort to make the best out of an awkward situation. At some point, if you want to move forward with your boyfriend, he will need to choose one or another. Asking you to be patient for yet another 9 months through the pregnancy and through x amount of years of this next child's life is asking a lot. She clearly needs the support of a father figure for her kids, but is effectively stalling your boyfriends own progresses in his life life. I think at the end of the day if she chooses to be a single parent she needs to do just that and raise these kids on her own, not interrupt the life of a fella who has not gotten her pregant. He should not have to deal with the consequences of her choices.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2011): obviously - the other woman means more to him than you do. dump his ass. then find a man who wants to start a family with you, instead of his "best friend - but she's not a girlfriend"
this is laughable.
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A
male
reader, thomas1214  +, writes (11 April 2011):
that is weird. its nice to see that your bf is caring but he should be a little more focused on you and also it sounds like shes a bit of a... how can i say.. moouch.
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