A
female
age
30-35,
*aniellekate
writes:I've been at 6th form since last September, and a guy who went to the same school as me goes there. We never spoke at spoke, but over the past 8 months, we've bonded so well, to the point that we both trust each other so much. We have a lot in common - our music/book/career/movie choices and have even been to concerts and gigs together. We're also in two of four lessons together, one of which we sit together.I started liking him about a month ago, and decided to tell him on Friday night. When I did, he said 'we shouldn't be talking about this' so the conversation kinda dropped. Yesterday (Sunday) he asked me if I wanted to talk about it, and of course I did. He said he didn't want to go into it much, but because we're in the 'pre-exam period' (we start our AS exams in a month), he doesn't want any distractions, and he has 'other things' on his mind.When I asked whether it was a one-way thing or the feelings were mutual, at first he said 'I'm not in the right state of mine to make that judgment' but the second time I asked, he said 'it's extremely complex, but no.'We agreed to stay friends. However, today, we sat beside each other in the lesson we have together, and we didn't speak.I regret telling him.How do I put things right?
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male
reader, wiseoldman +, writes (12 April 2011):
The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ, Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line, Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it.said the Persian poet Omar Kayyam (1048-1141) and things haven't changed. The past cannot be altered. While in this case it doesn't seem he's into you, (maybe he's a closeted gay?)you have still done the right thing by letting him know nevertheless. Too many girls- women too- have been attracted to a man and not let him have the least inkling of the way they feel when there's a very good chance he would have been absolutely delighted to know you like him. I know you are upset, but men get this sort of negative reaction from 95% of the women we approach. So, please- dont ruin the chance of happiness and try to meet us halfway- because 95% of the men you ask will be very happy you did. Don't waste time grieving over the tiny minority.
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