A
male
age
30-35,
*ovestricken10622
writes:Ok, I'm a 22 year old college student. I am torn between two women. I don't know which one to choose and how to let the other one down. They both have feelings for me and want to exclusively date. So I have classes with one of these girls 4 times a week and we talk everyday about everything, I have been on dates with her and have a really good time. I will see this girl three times a week during fall semester as well and I sit beside her in class. The other girl is in 1 of my classes that I see twice a week. I sit beside her as well. We have been on a few dates and there is definitely an attraction there. She has to move back 4 hours away at the end of the semester. I really have feelings for both of these girls, the first girl will talk to me no problem 24/7 the other one is like pulling teeth sometimes but she says she is busy and we don't get to spend that much time together bc she is always busy. I really like her but if we don't get to spend time together and she is hard to get to talk to sometimes is it worth it even though we have feelings for each other? So how do I let one of these girls down without making it uncomfortable? I feel really guilty leading two girls on and not being able to decide. I have to sit next to both of these girls at some point throughout the week so I don't know which way to go and how to handle it. Any advice? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, theresag  +, writes (24 July 2011):
Oh to be so wanted.Go for the one who is not moving away and you can talk to.Its obvious
A
male
reader, iluvsox +, writes (24 July 2011):
From the way you're even describing it, you seem more drawn to the first girl. Not only is she more readily available to hang out with, but you see her more often and seem to have more things in common, considering you're taking the same few classes and such. My opinion would be to go with the first girl, and she isn't "pulling your teeth" like the second girl is.
As far as leading them both on, you're very aware that isn't fair to either one. Whichever one you do not choose, you need to be straight up and honest with them. It may hurt or upset you or her, but honesty is the best way to go. I've been in a similar situation before, but to a lesser extent. I was extremely honest with them both. To the girl I didn't choose, I sat down with her and told her that there was indeed another girl and that I made my decision to stay with her exclusively and that I didn't want to lead you both on when you both obviously want to be exclusive. She will probably cry, but you have to remain strong. Also, talk to the girl you choose as well. Tell her that you've been dating people more than just her, but you chose to be exclusive with her. Again honesty is the best thing. You dont want her to come back down the road in a few months and get upset that you didn't tell her that you dated other people while you dated her as well.
You're only young once, and at your age date around as little or as much as you like.
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