A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi,i have 2 problems really. I have been going out with my boyfriend for 15 months now and in the last 6 months it has had to be long distance, but we still see each other each weekend as its only an hour away. The thing is i am finding that when i am with him everything is fine and we get along well, then within 24-48 hours of not seeing him i get annoyed by him and often end up ending a phone call with him upset that i just dont think he loves me and doesnt want to see me as much as i want to see him. My friends have said this is normal in a long distance relationship as i just miss my boyfriend. but i dont know how to improve it, other than moviing, but there are no jobs for me near him. The other problem, which compounds this problem is that my ex of 20 months ago is still in contact with me. He is the first person i fell in love with (new bloke the second) and it wasnt my choice to finish that relationship so i found it hard to move on. We have met up as friends a couple of times since we split which has been fun and fine. He has recently been texting asking to come to see me in my new town, and sending other things which remind of our relationship. I have been putting him off so far, as when i hear from him it turns my heart upside down. I think i may still be in love with him (but generally try to keep this thought pushed away and try to forget about him), the love i feel for my new bloke is completely different feelings for me. I got butterflies, excited and my heart races when i was with the ex. With my current boyfriend that very quickly (within 3 months of meeting) turned to caring, nurturing love feelings and i have to admit it scares me that i dont get those butterfly feelings anymore with him, it has only been 15 months, whilst it still happens almost 2 years on with the ex. However, i would do anything for my current boyfriend as i feel our bond lies deeper. Is it normal to have these feelings? Am i a bad person for not being able to move on fully from the ex? Is it possible to have these 2 different types of love? How can i help things with my long distance issues? any advice really welcomed. thanks
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fell in love, long distance, move on, my ex, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Emilie +, writes (10 October 2007):
 Hey hun,
Youre not a bad person. I know how you feel, really i do. I'm currently in the same position, thats why i came through this section of dearcupid. Although i love my current boyfriend i feel that my ex (also the first person i loved) has a big impact on my life still. My ex ended the relationship and i found it very hard to move on, he's always kept in touch and i love him more as a friend now but i cant help but wonder... I would do anything for my boyfriend i love him dearly and im not ready to let go of that. Stick with your current boyfriend i believe that if youre happy with your current guy then you should give him the chance he deserves. You can be great together! as for your ex, remember he broke it off nd he may do it again. Please keep it in mind when you come to your decision. Who can stand in the path of love? not me, now its up to you :) email me if you would like to keep in touch. Good luck xxx
A
female
reader, just-ask-xx +, writes (6 October 2007):
 When I said 'Of course you're not a person' I meant to say You're not a BAD person! Sorry for any confusion! love just-ask-xx
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A
female
reader, just-ask-xx +, writes (6 October 2007):
Of course you're not a person, once I was in love with two guys for completely different reasons and I will probably always love both of them, I didn't go out with either and I think I made the right choice because then I found a guy that had the qualities they both had. I'm not saying this is the road you should take, but if you feel you have a deep bond with your bf, I suggest you talk to him about the future you could have, as for your ex, stay friends and you will still have some sort of relationship with him :) love, just-ask-xx :) and I'm sorry if my advice hasn't come to any help for you :) but I just wanted to say something :) xx
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