A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,So lately I'm really confused. I've been single for 8 months and started talking to two guys just as friends. Then it turned out I started liking them both. I kind of therew off the older one since he'll be in college, but he tells me how he rarely likes someone how he likes me and that he hasn't felt this way about someone for along time. I do like him, but I'm afraid. The other one is my age, but goes to another school. He's been the one I've been more serious with but we've been fighting a lot. He tells me he loves me and all that stuff..which is hard cuz I don't think I feel the same. I do feel closer to him, but we fight sooo much and I'm scared when school starts it'll get worse because I don't think I can't trust him. Its all just a freaking mix up and I'm SO confused! This seems to happen EVERY time :( what do I do?! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, mrg123  +, writes (30 July 2011):
 You will I am totally sure of it :) if your struggling, why not write down the pros and cons of each or something, it often helps clear our mind to codify ie, write it down because it forces you to organise express it :) your welcome :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI suppose so, hope I get stuff worked out /: thanks a bunch though!
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A
male
reader, mrg123 +, writes (30 July 2011):
Hey :),
I've been there. My last ex was exactly like that and I can totally assure you that you are behaving nothing like him. What he did to you has obviously weary of committing yourself for totally understandable reasons because you invested in somebody and they turned that trust against you and made you feel bad for no reason. So, don't worry about it, you are not turning into him, how your feeling is a totally natural and understandable response to how you were treated :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell my ex was really controlling and didn't let me do anything he didn't trust me with anything when I did nothing and I don't wana be like him but I think that's what's happening :(
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A
male
reader, mrg123 +, writes (30 July 2011):
I think your just scared and you need to work through the fear. Something tells me you were burnt in your last relationship?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe guy that says he loves me I do like a lot* not sayin I don't have any feelings for him cuz I do, a lot, and that's y its so hard
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2011): If you truly loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second.
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A
male
reader, mrg123 +, writes (30 July 2011):
In many ways, I think being single is more complicated than being with somebody because your faced with finding the right connection and testing them all out to see which one develops. Right, I think your confusion actually stems from the same place, in both instances you say your afraid (albeit for differing reasons). This tells me that first thing you need to do is heal some wounds from your last relationship.
Next point. In the case of the older guy all you say is your afraid. In the case of the one you go to school with you say your afraid but, as well, *you don't think you feel the same way*. Now, you never mentioned that in the first case and I would be tempted to read into that that the only thing stopping you with the first guy is fear but that the feeling is there. Unless, of course, you simply omitted that?
So, if your asking us which way you should go, on the basis of the above I would have to say with the first guy and you will have to try and work through your fear together. You have to go with the person you have feelings for, not the one you don't seem to feel about in the same way, to be true to yourself. Having said that there are some issues here with you trusting anybody that seem to be a product of how your last relationship ended so you perhaps need to work through them first before you go for anybody? Good luck whatever you decide x:)
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A
female
reader, kimberley-m +, writes (30 July 2011):
hey, first things first if you are not happy with that guy who goes to a different school and you like someone else more it wouldnt be fair to either of you to keep that relationship going especially if you are fighting all the time, its not healthy for anyone! you sound like you got on better when you were friends then you should go back to being friends. As for the guy whos about to go to college sometimes love is a leap of faith and if its right between you both you should go for it! follow your heart and do what makes you happy as if your happy the relationship will feed of it, take a chance x
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