A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am having the hardest decision to have to choose between two great but very opposite guys. This is all since my ex has expressed his feelings to me in a significant way. We have a son together but we went on a break many months ago but I had since found someone new. The new guy is really expressive and romantic. That was REALLY nice for a change though sometimes it feels like too much, and I truly miss the teasing, strong willed and stubborn nature of my ex who was never that hopeless romanitic! But my ex and I always fun together and he could get me out of my shell and stimulate me in many ways.Before moving on to the new realtionship, I had hoped and prayed my son's dad and I would get back togther! A few weeks after I FINALLY thought I had moved on with my heart, he really wanted me back. I know it seems like a reation to the fact that I moved on, but he swears that things changed with him when he finally got over his anger after opening up about his feelings from the past!! Also, he said he finally understood what he wasn't giving me to meet my needs of feeling reassured and loved. He says that is something he would like to work on now and he is good at sticking to his word. He had sort of started seeing someone new as well and just couldn't forget me. It's nice to hear how much I meant to him but is this openness just a temporary thing? I would never having to worry about not being reassured with the new guy!! I think the new guy has it engrained in him how to treat a woman with respect and how to let things and arguments go because they just aren't worth it!!!My ex and I had broken up after a year of a lot of miscommunication. We both learned a lot. I see being able to improve upon our past relationship of the past, but I can't stop thinking that maybe everything would be that much easier with the new guy who is much more romantic, in touch with his feeligns and open with his heart. Maybe too giving as he has been taken advange of many times in big ways and I don't want to be spoiled rotten! It sounds silly but it's true. Also, I don't know if I want or will get used to a guy who is going to make me his whole world. Maybe I don't want to be the "leader" in the relationship!! On the other hand maybe I should get used to that so that I am happy 10, 20 years down the road with my relationship instead of trying to change a guy who is not normally in touch with his feelings??!In any case, I told the new guy that I needed time to decide and move on. I feel terrible but the truth is that I cannot proceed with the new relationship with these feelings. I am trying to resolve them as quickly as possible and I'm literally torn right downn the middle.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Mature Lady  +, writes (21 July 2011):
I feel deep down you would like to try again with your ex which as he is the father of your son would be much better in the longrun,well done on not keeping the other boy hanging on whilst you decide,why don't you and your ex take some counselling as I do not feel it would take too much to make your relationship work,he obviously still has feelings for you and is finding it hard to move on too.But at the end of the day only you can make the descision for yourself.
Good luck in whatever you decide.
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