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female
,
anonymous
writes: i have been with my boyfriend matt* for nearly 4 years. last may we decided to split and be friends, as we both have the same group of friends.i then started a relationship with a guy he went to school with in july, tom*. i got depression finished with tom* then got back with matt* in jan. Recently i have met someone else, sam*. he also knows some of matts* friends. i love matt loads but there no sexual spark, i cant stop thinking and fantasing about sam and im sure he likes me too.please help me...what shall i do.......?
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female
reader, Aunt Jess +, writes (1 June 2006):
 if u sincerely feel the relationship is drifting, let him know asap before any arguments erupt because the last thing u want is for him to think ur breaking up with him becuase of a silly argument and not because of the reasons youve just mentioned. i suggest u seriously consider whether sam is who u want to be with, makin sure its not just going to be for the sex but that theres compassion and possibly love too, because if the relationship ends, u are likely to consider getting back with matt again, something that u wont want. another reason u need to be sure of him is because he knows some of matts friends and if word gets out that ur together u need to be assured that its wat u reali want, otherwise matt could see it as a rebound attempt. good luck, let me know how things gox
A
female
reader, smeedle  +, writes (31 May 2006):
 Finish with Matt, he is not doing it for you and although love is great there also has to be some sexual chemistry or it is just like going out with your mate.
Once Matt is finished with you can either have a break from blokes and see if things develope in the Sam area or go and ask Sam out, either way is ok as long as you finish with Matt.
It is tempting to go back to an ex like you did but it seldome works as there were reasons you split up and the reasons tend to remain when you give it another go, just be honest with Matt and tell him for you it is just not happening and spliting for good is the way you want it, mean it and try and give yourself a break between blokes for Matts sake as much as for you making sure there is no re-bound issues.
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