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male
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anonymous
writes: Hi I have fallen for a Girl and am too shy to go and speak to her I didn't know what else to do so I sent her a rose with a poem telling her that I liked her and that I wanted to ask her out. I left a text number but she didn't reply. I guess she is not interested but now I keep thinking that it was the wrong thing to do and that maybe I've scared her and that maybe she thinks I'm a weirdo! I want to approach her and let her know that it was me that sent it but don't know what she'll think of me.
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female
reader, missdee +, writes (30 September 2005):
I personally think that was the sweetest thing I have ever heard. Maybe the problem was that she thought it was a joke, or didn't know who it was. You have broke the ice with her so to speak. Now approach her and ask her did she like the poem and the rose. Tell her you wanted to talk to her but her beauty was so overwhelming that you couldn't bring the words out of your mouth to tell her.
If she acts like she likes you too. Ask her out for a date and see how it goes from there. Wish you luck !
A
female
reader, FudgemallowDelight +, writes (30 September 2005):
yes, i agree with bev, if it was me i would probbably think of it as a joke that some friends were playing on me and i wouldnt reply either incase they jumped out and went 'haha fooled u!'. i have had poems written to me before and given to me annonomously and i did think it was a joke becuase i, like everyone, has insecurities and i didnt believe that someone would be interested in me.
anyway my advice is to talk to her. i know taht is easier said then done but what i would do is kind of find an excuse so i HAVE to talk to her and take it on from there.
i can really help you much with the excuse becuase i dont know how you know her (like from school, work, a club etc) but im sure you can come up with some reason to get talking!
oh and smiling is great! makes you more approachable and i just can never resist a good old friendly smile!
hope this helps
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A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (30 September 2005):
 Speaking from my own, minimal experience, it's possible that your romantic gesture was misunderstood as a joke. The girl might either be completely taken aback (as Pops said, maybe you overdid it, since she doesn't even know about your crush), or she might be a little bit hesitant to respond, waiting for someone to leap out at her, laughing and pointing because she fell for a prank.
All is not completely lost, though. Now that you've got her attention it's time to gird your loins (that is, to brace yourself) and go and speak to her. It doesn't have to be earth-shaking conversation. You just go and say hello and introduce yourself (example: "Hi there, I'm Eric. We're in the band together. I play First Trombone.") Then tell her that you sent her a poem and ask if she'd had a chance to read it.
Because you're already a bit shy, I know that I don't have to tell you to take things very slowly and carefully with this girl, who is probably feeling a little overwhelmed by your attentions. Things may or may not work out between you, but anything that happens will be OK. In the same way that you'll never be able to be friends with every stranger you meet on the street, you will never be able to click with every girl you fancy... but that's OK. Getting turned down by one girl, even by ten girls, is not a slap at you personally, and it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. That's just human interaction.
So take a chance and go talk to her. I doubt she'll bite! At the same time, be aware that there might be shy girls out there, feeling much the same way about you, and every bit as anxious as you are. Think of how easy-going and approachable you are and would be to those kinds of girls, and you'll find it easier to walk up to the girl you like and say hello.
Good luck.
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A
reader, pops +, writes (30 September 2005):
Most girls today at least talk to a guy and learn his name before receiving a flower and poem! You overdid it a little, and she is not yet old enough to appreciate how lucky she was. Stop treating firls like things, and talk to her like she is people, just like your male friends are, but a lot nicer to be around. Everyone is shy, and anxious about meeting someone the first time. Boys almost never know what to say to girls, because they think girls are interested in things boys know nothing about. It is the opposite, but the only way you will find out is by working up the courage to talk to her. Every attempt can either succeed or fail. If you fail, at least you tried. But if you don't try, you have failed and will never know if you might have succeeded. Go for it. Failure is just part of life. I once asked a girl I knew from school out for a date, and she turned me down because I wasn't of her faith. I hadn't even bothered to learn what her faith was, so I felt very stupid. But, about 5 minutes later, I thought, all I was asking her out for was to go with me to a concert. I was not asking her to marry me, or have my babies! I then decided I was not stupid, and that she was being very foolish, and was missing a nice time. Her loss. I have laughed about that incident, but I have never again regretted asking her out, nor have I thought I was stupid for not knowing what her religious denomination was.
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