A
female
age
41-50,
*ittieS
writes:So things are going well with my new boyfriend been almost two months.But - I lived on my own and have worked from home most days, for over a year - which has suited me fine as I absolutley adore my space.The new man is wonderful, but assumes I will see him all the time - for the past few weeks my friends have been away so I've seen him ten days straight which is nice but I have been craving space.The only nights I have had away from him is when I've been with family, but I've not had a night on my own. I said about a week ago, I wouldn't see him on a particular night, was quite but not overally clear the day before he has stuff for two nights - when I said "hon did say I needed tomorrow night here on my own, he got super funny about it saying I should have been clearer - agreed he could come around later just to sleep" Am I so very wrong to need my space, a night alone to have control over the remote control - I'm feeling so suffocated, it's only been six weeks and feel I'm already being "put" on I like this guy very much, but I'm finding reasons to run!! Feel it's crazy as all I've wanted is a man who wants me, but feel like I'm loosing myself - and that seems like such a man thing to say!!! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, KittieS +, writes (7 October 2011):
KittieS is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks for the replies, I realise now I was just tired (been working exceptionally hard) and feeling a bit low, I just didn't have the energy for anyone else but me.
Had a night apart, spent time on me and when we saw each other it was electric!! never have I felt so in love with him.
A
male
reader, Uncle Charlie  +, writes (6 October 2011):
First of all, it is not unreasonable that after all of this time having the absolute say on the kind of space you want, it is unusual to have someone invade that space. What you need to do is to be honest with him from the get go. Tell him that you are so used to having your own space, and even thught you like him and want a relatioship with him, you really like your own space and it will take some time to get used to having anyone invade that spece. Say it in a nice way and see how he reacts. If he really gets defensive on the subject, then that could say something about what "he" wants out of the relationship. If you see it as a negative, then mabie he may not be the guy for you. There are two ways to see this. You could see it as compromise. That you are willing for someone else to invade your space, or you could see it as an invasion that you (at this time of your life) are not willing to live with. Then the both of you can decide on what to do next.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (6 October 2011):
 No, of course you are not wrong to want some 'me' time. So he has expectations and you have expectations. Time to talk about them, and why not make it a fun and upbeat conversation?
"Brian, I love spending time with you, so so much! The thing I need to remind you of is that I'm used to being an independent woman with a fair amount of alone time. Perhaps I wasn't clear enough the other night, I just wanted an evening to myself! Too much time spent together means I don't get a chance to miss you and honestly, it's just a bit too much right now, at this stage of our getting to know each other.
"Trust me, when I have my 'me' time, I'm a happier girl. And then you'll be a happier boy. *wink wink*"
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