A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok so this is an odd situation. Me and my girlfriend just moved in together. And we we were having sex like 7 times a week. And we used condoms everytime, and I brought up the pill and having more sex. She said ok and she went on the pill and we stoped with condoms. Well now we are having sex a lot, we both work out of the house and were together all day. When I say a lot I mean 3 times a day minimium, so id say 30 times a week. Well the problem is I'm tierd! Its been like this for 5 months now, and I don't feel right asking for less because she really enjoys it, and I asked for it. I like the sex, its amazing, I'm scared it might be hurting my little guy, or be unhealthy. When we go like 10 times in a day nothing comes out, I ejaculate, but no sperm. I feel like an idiot saying, "baby, can we have less sex?" Would a man ever say that??? Need help!
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condom, ejaculate, moved in, sperm, the pill Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2010): well for now your best bet is going with the health factor, let her know the effect and also She needs to know that too much of those pills could affect her system and moods 2
A
female
reader, AgonyAuntiee93  +, writes (4 December 2010):
just tell her that you dont want to have sex every night and that you could still have it once in a while, like maybe 3 times a week or something. dont worry about it because it wont mess anything up. i told my boyfriend the same thing and he took it well. i know she is a different person to my boyfriend though. well if it does mess things up, you know its not worth it because she wont understand you or how you feel.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2010): if your tired just tell her im sure she'll understand but from someone who has just as much sex...dont worry it won't mess you up
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A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (3 December 2010):
 Best to be upfront about these things, you know. She should be able to understand, after all, sex 10 times a day is excessive (and I'm not normally the sort to use /excessive/ and /sex/ in the same sentence as a rule) and surely she'll realize what it will tire you out (I mean, hey, need to say some energy for work, right?).
And think about 'em toys.
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A
male
reader, advisorX  +, writes (3 December 2010):
 there are different kinds of sex... it does not only pertain to penis insertion. you can also do oral sex or stimulation using your hands or finger. I believe it can also make her enjoy so much. and you can spare your penis.
in connection to this you should also eat healthy foods to have plenty ejaculation.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2010): Wow, that's a lot of sex! What else do you guys do?
I don't see why you would feel silly asking her that. Obviously you're very comfortable with one another now, the fact you're living together, etc.
Just explain to her that you're both living together now and you'd like to tone the sex down a little as it's making you exhausted! Obviously in nicer tones..
Remember, the more you make her wait, the more excited she'll get! And enjoy it even more.
Keep in mind as well this WILL tone down eventually. The more you do it now, the faster you'll both want to slow down in the future. Toning down is fine, but getting bored ISN'T. So you have to be careful really and never be afraid to try new things!
The reason you don't cum sometimes is because there's nothing TO cum! As it's all washed out. The poor sperm does need a little time to appear back. Also, too much sex is never unhealthy. Sex is very healthy. As long as neither of you have any STD'S of course, but I'm pretty sure you don't!
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A
female
reader, a686me +, writes (3 December 2010):
Personally, I think my boyfriend feels the same way about me. I never thought a man could have TOO much sex. I thought this was a wonderful thing?
But since you feel this way, have a seat with her and express your feelings to her. Do you think she's obligated to have sex with her each time she jumps on you? And if you're not "turned on" why don't you try to spice it up (might as well) since she's very much into you......... the important thing is, make it enjoyable for both of you. Sex is suppose to be GREAT!
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (3 December 2010):
 Yes you can say that. But I am actually happy for your girlfriend that you are willing to talk to her about it and have a chat about it rather than starting to ignore her needs! Kudos to you! Sex is great, as you said yourself, but we all have different drives and how much we are capable of /need. Communication is the key here, talking, listening, and compromising.
You really should just talk to her about how you feel, that you enjoy it, but it's too much for you. Possible compromises are these:
You have sex but don't cum (aka stopping after she orgasms and before you do).
You watch her masturbate.
You lick her.
You finger her.
You watch porn together and she masturbates.
You use a vibrator/dildo on her.
Use your imagination, Im sure there are other options as well that I didn't think of. Most important is that you compromise on something that will make you both satisfied and happy.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2010): I think its ok to want to tone it down, sounds normal to me. I think its ok for you to tell her too. In most cases, women have a natural capacity to have sex more often than men in that their genitals are designed to cope with it better. After a man ejaculates, his dick is designed to become soft, whereas a woman can have an orgasm and still easily be able to have sex, and often want for sex to continue. So it is natural for a man to have greater limits in his capacity, even though it seems that men in general seek to have sex more often than woman as a generalisation. Figuring out what you want (less sex in this case, for physical reasons not due to emotional distance) and telling your partner what you want are a sign of a true man, not your ability to have sex, any man can do that. Be a man and tell her how you feel and what you want. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, youngandrestless  +, writes (3 December 2010):
 have you tried introducing toys into the bed? i know some guys are intimidated by them (my guy was for a long time) but if your getting worn out you can still satisfy her without actually having sex. you can also go down on her or finger her, whatever works. or you could just say "baby im a little tired can we wait till later?" it gives her something to look forward to and you some time to recuperate!
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