A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am constantly sad. I feel alone. I have no idea why. days that I am happy are rare, maybe once a month or twice a month.I live with my boyfriend who is wonderful. I have a small group of very close friends. I have a job. I should be happy, right?well I'm not. every morning I wake up upset. A little over a year ago I had my first one night stand after breaking up with a much older man who i had dated for 3 years... since i was 15.. I saw him out so i decided to make him jealous and kissed another man.. which led to us going back to his house. when I went back to the house I had so much alcohol, a shocking ammount, I was so drunk. I did the most embarrassing thing I could havve ever done, I wet myself... I didn't know until he told me months later. but every time i go out and i see him I feel so upset. but I cant avoid him... at first he was still nice to me, now he barely looks at me.. I didn't care much except other people who i would hang out with all know and hang out with him.... i know they know.. even though he said he wouldn't tell anyone, and i don't remember doing it.. and i over think and get upset about this every single day thinking about what they say about me.since then I have completely stopped drinking. before my current boyfriend I was with a guy who made me forget about all these things, but rumors started and we ended up breaking up after 2 months. I miss him so much, he was exactly like me and I thought i'd found my soulmate. since we broke up my life has been filled with sadness.. I love my boyfriend so much, but i over think all the previous events and I don't think i'm a great girlfriend as a result. I wake up feeling so anxious and sick and down... what will i do?
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broke up, drunk, jealous, older man, one night stand, soulmate Reply to this Question
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (25 January 2011):
 1. Cut the alcohol, dear. Because you seem to have trouble controlling yourself while you're drunk. When you get to that point, it's best to lay off the alcohol for a while.
2. http://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/detecting-depression
See if you have symptoms of depression, from this link I have provided. Then proceed to seek treatment from your doctor. They will either prescribe you anti-depressants and possibly therapy to go along with them.
3. After you have cut back on the alcohol and sought treatment for your depression, then you can try to get your boyfriend back. But work on yourself first, only you can make you happy. Not a man, not alcohol, YOU!
P.S. Actually, wetting yourself at a party isn't so bad. I know some people who have shit themselves while drunk at a party. Now that is embarrassing!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2011): We all do stupid things. In fact, I've peed on myself too around your age while drinking. (Not the same context.) It sounds like you are depressed partly because you are ashamed of the way you acted and generally because you are lonely and getting over a break up.
This may not be a silver lining to you, but at least you care. There are plenty of people who do stupid and irresponsible things and never think about it after the fact. What you are going through now, may just be an adjiustment period where you have to face some personal demons. You should definitely reflect on your actions, but you shouldn't beat yourself up.
Instead of dwelling on the past, do whatever you can to keep yourself in the present. Getting over people is hard, it takes time for everyone. (Generally, I find it takes 2X the time you dated them to get over them.) Being rejected and ignored by people you care about sucks.
As far as your accident goes, give yourself some time and our friends some time to get over it. (They will get over it in time...and hopefully in the future they will tease you about it directly instead of spread rumors.)
Avoid rebounds and try to take a time out to consider what relationship you ideally would like, (not what people you miss). When you're ready to date again, why not try dating people outside of your circle of friends?
Things will get better in time, I promise.
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A
female
reader, viccra78 +, writes (25 January 2011):
I totally agree that you have major signs of depression and you really do need to seek treatment for that.
As far as getting drunk and having an accident, big deal! It is crazy what I have seen when people drink too much and your is pretty tame compared!
Seek some professional help and don't worry so much about the small stuff!
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2011): I got so drunk i did a tinkle once. So did a friend of mine. We laugh about it. And like you, we dont drink now. So thats 3 of us that have wet ourselves. You are in good company lol. Dont let something like that get you down. We all make mistakes and do things we regret when we are young. Its called experiencing life. If you had said you got drunk, drove a car and hurt someone. Now THAT would be something to be ashamed of. But doing a tinkle isnt a biggy. When i was younger and still at home. My brother came home from a 'good' night out once. And somehow confused my bedroom for the wc! I woke up to find him doing a pee in my wardrobe! Its life and you shouldnt worry about it. I still tease him about the wardrobe incident, he just laughs lol. So you laugh and tell your friends to 'get a life' if they want to make an issue over one little incident. But aside from that. You do sound a little down and might benefit from a trip to your doctor. It might just be that you arent happy because of breaking up from your last boyfriend and you could use a little counselling. Have a chat with your doctor and see what he thinks. You dont have to feel down, so go and ask for some help to get yourself back on track. You will feel better soon x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2011): Im no psychologist or psychiatirst however I do see some possible clinical signs of depression here and advise you to call any hotline so they can help you and advise you further. Thats excellent you stopped drinking. Alcohol is a depressant therefore it will make you down and upset all those nasty negative emotions. Good job! Now the next step is to figure things out for your mental health sake. My best your way :)
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