A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:It's going to be 5 years soon that I am single. Sure, I've met people and "dated" (very very briefly) a few guys but haven't been able to find a guy to actually have a decent relationship with in all this time. I enjoyed being single (primarily for the first 3 years after my ex broke up with me) but now I find I am just beginning to be so frustrated over it. It almost feels as though I am suffering a little inside and that the void of not having someone special is getting bigger and bigger. All my friends are engaged or married - ALL of them. Although I am happy for all my friends, their constant happiness sometimes is a reminder that I might not find that anymore. Yes, yes... I've tried online dating and all that but it is like I just cannot meet someone. Sometimes I think I just live in the wrong city and that the potential for a long lasting relationship here is just not in the works!I'm just wondering - how long was the longest you've ever been single? Did anyone else deal with this kind of constant frustration after being single for so long (not to mention the lack of sex... not 5 years here but long enough to start going a little crazy now)? And where/how did you end up meeting the next person you dated after such a long dry spell?I always truly believe that some people will never meet "the one" and will spend their lives alone. And I am truly starting to think I am one of those people. How to deal?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2017):
The most common reason for women in your situation is that your standards are simply too high. Trying to find a real relationship and having the same attractiveness standards as you had for no-strings screwing around is a recipe for disappointment. Now you are seeking a more valuable man while expecting him to invest more in you at the same time.
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (25 June 2017):
 No worries- "The "right" one" is out there waiting for you wondering the same woe is me thoughts.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (25 June 2017):
 Well, as the saying goes, you sometimes have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince. Never give up. You never know who is round the corner.
I am assuming you have told your friends you are looking to meet a nice man? Do they not know anyone they could introduce you to? Do their partners know anyone who might be of interest? Don't be afraid to put out the word.
If you are constantly doing the same things in the same places, you will not be meeting anyone new. Have you considered taking up new hobbies or interests, or doing some voluntary work? That way the people you meet have something in common with you immediately.
How about organising a dinner party where you invite friends to bring someone along who is single and who they have no interest in? That way at least half the people at the party will be single. One woman's "friend only" can easily be another woman's "the one".
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