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age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I have just started dating this guy and things are off to a great start. We've started getting intimate pretty early on in getting to know each other but I've been crossing an idea recently and wonder how he would take it . Even though we are now being intimate with each other and discovering each others' "buttons" at a reasonable rate, I am quite tempted to see if he would be willing to fulfill a fantasy of mine.I have always been fascinated with light BSDM yet have not been able to find a partner that is willing to explore that side of themselves. Whenever I have brought it up in past relationships, my exs would either shudder at the idea (by assuming that I am into extreme bondage/kinky sex) or are willing to try it but they never take it seriously.Anyhow, this guy and I whom I've started dating have had really sensual and very intense sex together. And I really want him to perhaps fulfill one of my sexual fantasies where I am able to completely surrender myself to another person and allow him/her to be dominating by dictating how/how much/when/if I receive pleasure. Maybe even perhaps introducing a bit of light bondage and similar things.When it comes to sex, I am a "giver" and tend to place the pleasure of my partner ahead of my own (even though seeing them being in pleasure due to what I do to them pleases me very much). But at the same time this prevents me from truly being "in my own skin" and being receptive to my own needs. Allowing a partner to act in the upper hand would actually allow me to think of nothing but what is being done to me, relax and enjoy being pleased.How would you suggest that I go about introducing the idea to him-- without scaring him off or freaking out? Is it too early in the stages even though we have been intimate to start experimenting?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2012): BDSM and light bondage are two different worlds appart sometimes.
If you haven't already touched the subject, i suggest researching the matter first, wanting it and doing it, are two completely different things.
Bring it up casualy at first, don't put pressure on the subject just a simple 'what are your thoughts on bondage play?' if he is interested see what he would like from the situation and then discuss what you would like from it. Bondage in any form is a very trust built area.
Communication and sharing are very important things.
A
female
reader, jinxx  +, writes (11 July 2012):
 I don't know if it's too early or not, but if you're concerned about that... maybe you could test the water a little bit? Drop a few hints here and there, maybe ask him what some of his fantasies are.
Or while you're in the midst of having sex, maybe you could ask him to do something to you that you don't think he'd see as too scary, and then over time slowly build up to what you're hoping to accomplish.
If you feel it has been long enough and you are connected enough that you'd be comfortable talking to him about this... that would be the quickest way. Ultimately it's up to you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2012): Well, you haven't stated how long have you been dating or being sexual.
If it is more then month/2months I would ask him. If less I would definitely reconsider. Just bring it up when you are in bed and explain what exactly you want him to do. I can assure you that most guys would enjoy playing a dominant role especially if woman brings up the subject.
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A
male
reader, wiseoldman  +, writes (11 July 2012):
Present him with a copy of 'Fifty Shades of Grey', and a copy of 'Two Knotty Boys Show You the Ropes' which are both available on Amazon, posted in the proverbial plain brown wrapper, smile prettily and ask if he's like to see your scarf collection. Make sure you have four extremely long ones. Most men have idly wondered about tying a girl to the bedposts- he'll probably be delighted. Later, some 3/8" braided (NOT twisted- it marks the skin) nylon rope would be a good idea for him to acquire at the hardware store.
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