A
female
age
36-40,
*ovemeright11
writes:Me and my boyfriend have been together 8 months now and he still has no clue if he loves me and I would do anything to have him say he loves me back and I never nag him to love me cause I want it all to come naturally when its time but its really starting to eat me up in side when I tell him I love him and don't hear it back. I believe there is something inside of him but he is having a problem recognizing it as love because his actions are that of a man that loves me by far but he still can't say it. I am just worried. He told me he will go talk to someone to see why he is have this issue we both believe its something inside running deep like a past issue that is making him this way he is not always the most positive person when he views himself. Anyways what do you think I should do keep sticking it out for now maybe until we hit our first year together and see if things change? or should I part now? Again he does treat me amazingly but this is just still killing me inside. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, VSAddict +, writes (21 July 2011):
 There's no deadline or time frame for when you should say 'I love you'. He obviously cares for you a lot since he's still with you. Just be happy with that and don't make him feel like he has to say it. Some people take a long time to say it and some people just won't say it. But don't push him. Keep doing that and he might just start saying it to get you to stop pondering over this subject. Don't force him and let him tell you how he feels in his own time. It'll definitely be worth it when you hear it and you know that he felt that way on his own time. But don't make this a big issue. Just focus on the fact that you're still together and he cares for you a lot.
A
male
reader, mrg123  +, writes (21 July 2011):
 Well I think you need to get to the bottom of what is causing this blockage. You say this may well be because he is having problems recognising what he feels but it seems more likely, as you both seem to acknowledge, he is simply afraid of acknowledged or articulating what he feels in the way you are because of fear. This would be especially true if he has been hurt before and therefore has some baggage; or there maybe other reasons he is feeling insecure. I think the key thing to do is establish that and your making progress in that regard; he acknowledges it is a problem and is taking steps to remedy it. You can't really ask for much more than that.
Speaking personally, I think actions are more important than words and id rather be with somebody who cared for me in their actions over somebody who said it but didn't act it. It sounds like he ticks all the boxes in that regard so I would be weary of dashing out of this relationship just yet. Whenever you doubt his feelings remind yourself of how he acts and how treats you and how that shows he does love you though he can't say it yet.
I think since he is taking action you have to sit-tight and see how that goes; he deserves that chance at least. I know it's hard for you but I think it is worth sticking with this one. Good luck :)x.
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