A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a problem. Back in January, I was told by a guy on facebook that my on again off again boyfriend and father of my three year son was seeing another woman while he was trying to work things out with me. At first I wasn't bothered by it since we were no longer together but I was angry with him. I eventually forgave him and we began talking and working things out to be a family again. About two months later, the same guy tells me that the girlfriend was pregnant and that my on again off again boyfriend was trying to get her to abort their baby but she refused. My ex told me that it was all a lie and that he wasn't with anyone. We had tried to work things out again to no prevail and I gave up on him in April. In May, I saw the girlfriend (now ex) on the facebook friends list of my ex's grandfather. I had been given her name by the other guy who knew both my ex and the ex girlfriend so I asked her who she was and how did she know my ex and his family. I thought she was a family member I had never met but she tells me exactly what the guy on facebook had told me, that she was the pregnant ex-girlfriend of my ex-boyfriend and told me everything he did to her throughout their relationship such as cheat on her just like he did me and at the same time he and I were working things out. I don't know why, but it bothers me to know that he is having a baby with another woman since he told me that he only wanted to have children with me. I wasn't with him when he started up with her and all but I can't get over it. It really hurts me to know he has another family. I really love him and want to work things out with him to give our son a two parent home but I can't help how I feel since we tried to work things out yet again and he recently started speaking with her since their break up. Please help me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm have more great news to share. I have a great relationship with the mother of my son's sister and we both come to see how much our children's father had hurt and played the both of us. We want our children to have a great relationship and be as close as possible. My son's father isn't paying child support and is back to his old tricks again, trying to sweet talk me again to get back with him and I basically told him that I'm over everything that occurred last year and that I love and care about his daughter as well as if she was my own. I want nothing to do with him and want him to go about his business. He has nothing to offer me at all. I truly don't miss him anymore.
A
male
reader, doublejack +, writes (24 October 2011):
I feel and understand your pain. My ex reacted the same way when I filed for divorce, she got angry. Cheaters don't take any responsibility for their actions, so they never view anything as their fault - it is much easier to blame those around them. Or they think they will get an endless supply of "second chances". Healthy relationships are about give and take, and someone like that will never understand. It's a lost cause.
You absolutely did the right thing. Don't doubt it for a moment. In time the sadness will go away, and you'll feel you're on the right track. Just continue to be the strong woman that you are!
Thanks for the update, and best of luck to you!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2011): Hun thanks for the update.
One day at a time, one day at a time....
Enjoy being a mum, take time to heal and slowly when the time is right u will move on.
Good luck
LoveGirl
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi everyone. Just letting you all know that me and my son's father are officially done. I got tired of his games he was playing with me and his daughter's mother. He is now on child support for my son and he's angry with me for doing so since he wanted to work things out with me. I'm sad that things didn't work out for us and that he's angry with me for doing the right thing for our son.I'm taking the time to focus only on myself and my son, not him. Thanks for your help. It got me through a lot.
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A
female
reader, VSAddict +, writes (21 July 2011):
 If he's cheated on you then why are you still thinking about being with him? This guy has no more respect for you than he does the other woman because he has no respect for women at all. If you want to stay with this guy, then you're just going to have to deal with this. You knew that there was a possibility something like this could happen after he cheated on you, didn't you? Don't be surprised. Just move on. He's not worth your time and never will be. Get along for the sake of your child but you two shouldn't be together.
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A
male
reader, doublejack +, writes (21 July 2011):
I'm sorry to have to give this advice, but unfortunately your ex is not someone you should waste time on. He's done to another woman what he did to you. He got you both pregnant. He cheated on both of you. That's all you need to know.
For the sake of your son you should maintain a civil relationship with your ex, so that you can co-parent effectively. But this man is not someone you should pursue a romantic relationship with. He cannot be trusted, his actions show that he doesn't care about you, and the other woman will always be a part of his life now that they will have a child together. It is time to move on, as hard as that is.
I suggest you spend some time single. Rediscover who you are and what you want. Soon you'll begin feeling better about everything, and at that point you can begin dating. I know what it's like, having gone through a divorce myself. I'm sad for my daughter that her parents will never be together as a family again. But I had to do what was best, and that was to get out of a bad relationship.
I sincerely hope you find happiness!
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